The Nutmeg: Dear Mr. Van Gaal, good-bye and good riddance...

Assigning Phil Jones for set piece duties at some point last season (January 2015 versus QPR) is an argument alone that warrants a sack. But unfortunately that won't seal it, there's far more to it than that.

But before I start, let’s just make a few things clear. First, the way the Dutchman’s fate was confirmed on Monday night was an embarrassment to anyone associated with Manchester United. The club’s management is in tatters and the PR department requires a complete overhaul. Second, Louis van Gaal is a legendary manager. There’s no denying his world-class pedigree. He’s brought a successful blueprint to every football institution he’s stepped foot in and warrants massive respect from all fans irrespective of club allegiances.

But now that that’s out of the way, on to his disastrous reign.

There’s three things a Manchester United manager is judged on come the end of the season and these are: first and foremost; is trophies. Secondly; their style of play. The club takes massive pride in the “United way” of playing football, which in simplistic terms means attacking, pulsating and an imaginative style of play that keeps Mancunians on their toes. How that is assessed is probably subjective but there’s a universal consensus that Sir Alex Ferguson brought an “exciting brand of football” to Old Trafford and long may that continue. The third and final criteria is youth development. Again, Sir Alex’s precedent (and before that of course Sir Matt Busby) in blooding in youngsters in the first team set the bar high and a team bereft of academy graduates is a team without a “United identity”.

Now the question is, how did “Daisy” (as United players mischievously referred to the Dutchman) fare against club expectations?

As a start, looking at his season objectives and trophies (or lack thereof) it seems United had a three-year-plan when they first brought him on board. After David Moyes’ tumultuous reign, the first year was all about restoring United’s Champions League aspirations. Top four was the be-all and the end-all, and the Dutchman, truth be told, well and duly delivered. Year two was then all about re-establishing the club on the continental scene with a minimum expectation of qualifying out of an ‘easy group’ and competing for the Premier League. The emphasis here is on ‘competing’. Yes, I would assume that a club of United’s stature had the minimum objective of competing for the league. Any run-in beyond that in domestic cup competition would merely be the icing on the cake.

That being said, how did the Dutchman fare in his second year at Old Trafford? Knocked out of the Champions League at first hurdle, then eliminated by none other than hated rivals Liverpool in Europe’s second-tier competition, a 5th place finish in the league (just!) and a long awaited FA Cup success. Simply put, he delivered the icing without the cake. Eat that Van Gaal.

Next point: style of play. Let’s take a look at the following stats from Opta for better illustration.

Manchester United have scored 49 goals in the league this season (the team's Premier League average was 76); that’s one more goal scored than Sunderland, a team that was fighting for survival throughout the season and a team who was managed, in the second half of the season, by Sam Allardyce; a manager much-maligned for his pragmatic approach. At one stage of the season (around January/February) United had averaged more backward passes than any other team in the league, with the lowest percentage in moving the ball forward and the joint-second highest in moving the ball sideways. By the end of the season, they were the club with both the most 1-0 results and goalless draws. United ranked 15th in the league in shots on target and an even worse 17th in chances created. And this, lest we forget, was a manager excessively muttering the words “philosophy” and “process”, and who promised that the latter would deliver the former three-months into his first season. These stats make for miserable reading.

Point three: youth development. I’m inclined to jump on the “Van Gaal’s youthful legacy at United” bandwagon here, but, although this is partially true in how it has panned out, a simple look at the players the Dutchman had in pre-season training camp (it is safe to assume here that these were the players Van Gaal truly believed would make the step up) and the players that were making waves at the end of the season, would deem “Van Gaal’s legacy” a tad fortuitous.

United’s pre-season tour of the US included names such as Tyler Blackett, Sean Gross, Adnan Januzaj, Jese Lingard, Paddy McNair, Andreas Pereira and James Wilson. None of these names, bar Lingard, came anywhere near the starting lineup throughout the season. Januzaj, for one, was dismally offloaded to Dortmund then recalled and shunned out of the team. And this was a player that showed so much promise under Moyes that the most optimistic of United fans were hailing him as a future Ballon d’or winner. Blackett and Wilson were also sent out on loan (even though the latter could’ve ably slotted in during the team’s injury crisis), Gross was demoted to the youth team and both McNair and Pereira, the latter of which touted a star of the future within the corridors of power at United, infrequently dallied with the first team.

It’s important to note here that proponents of Van Gaal’s “youthful legacy” statement point towards the 14 academy players given debuts by the Dutchman, but the fact is that this was borne out of emergency, not vision. Cameron Borthwick-Jackson and Marcus Rashford were nowhere near the first team at the start of the season and both were drafted in under similar circumstances. The team was severely stricken by injuries towards the latter half of the season and, specifically, both the “left back” and “centre forward” positions were hit the most. Enter two of United’s under-18 star performers. A very similar case can be made for Timothy Fosu-Mensah. With the exception of Jese Lingard, none of Van Gaal’s initial “prospects” made it to the first team, let alone the starting eleven.

This of course begs the question - why did Van Gaal entrust a plethora of academy graduates (whom he had never moulded into his style of play during pre-season) at a critical time of season when the team were fighting tooth and nail for every point? The answer, ladies and gents, is “squad balance” (as Van Gaal continuously dubbed it), or lack thereof. The squad was threadbare to say the least. Down to its very bare bones.

Which brings us onto the next point: transfers. There’s no denying that Van Gaal’s transfer activity was abysmal to say the least. Whichever way you look at it, the Dutchman’s £250 million shopping spree was absolutely shambolic. The fact that the squad’s “balance” is worse off now than it was at the end of Moyes’ reign makes for painful reading. Let’s put the numbers into context.

Radamel Falcao; £285,000 a week wage packet, 4 goals scored. Never the same player. Shown the exit door.

Victor Valdes; an elite-level goalkeeper (despite my reservations about his quality) with a myriad of continental experience, brought on a free transfer with promise of first team football yet ostracized for refusing to play for the under-21 team.

Bastian Schweinsteiger; £14m, a signing five years too late. 19 starts. Injury stricken. Again.

Angel Di Maria; £60m world-class signing. An awe-inspiring start to his United career left the United faithful purring. Sold at a loss after one unfulfilled season in United colors. A victim of the Dutchman’s immovable “philosophy”.

Sergio Romero; a freebie. Signed as a capable De Gea understudy. Reliable when called upon. No complaints.

Memphis Depay; £25m. Touted as a world-beater back in his homeland. A “Van Gaal signing” that would go on and conquer Old Trafford. A dramatic start and a more dramatic fall from grace. A meager 16 starts in the league tells the story.

Matteo Darmian; £12m, and billed as an astute signing by yours truly. An able and versatile fullback with tactical nous that belied his experience. Injury-plagued as the season tailed off and ultimately shunned to the substitutes bench.

Ander Herrera; £29m. Signed at the second time of asking. A pass-master, and a box-to-box midfielder who is capable of the sublime. Again, shunned to the bench.

Marcos Rojo; £14m, signed merely for his World Cup heroics. Is neither the best fullback nor a capable centre back, yet bafflingly entrusted in both positions.

Daley Blind; £12m, and one of the better purchases of the Van Gaal regime. Trusted lieutenant, and makeshift center back who was signed primarily to add a left-footed “balance” to the centre of defense.

Luke Shaw; £26m. Again, a promising signing but a horror injury cut short his second season. Falls under the ‘potential world-class’ bracket.

Morgan Schneiderlin; £24m and last season’s star midfield performer for the Saints with the highest number of interceptions in the league. Midfield-enforcer yet never truly trusted by the Dutchman.
And finally, Anthony Martial; £35m, the only player that has truly lived up to his billing. A devastating introduction to English football set the wheels in motion for a memorable season. With little refining, this is a signing that will forever remain a Van Gaal legacy at Old Trafford.

In total, £250 million was spent on 13 players brought in, only 3 of which only can be deemed a success, with another 3 failing (miserably) and the jury is well and truly out on the rest.

For the outgoings, read Angel Di Maria, Falcao, Nani, Robin Van Persie, Javier Hernandez, Wilfried Zaha, Danny Wellbeck (offloaded to Arsenal of all teams!!), Shinji Kagawa, Rafael, Darren Fletcher, Jonny Evans, Tom Cleverley, Alexander Buttner, Anderson, Rio Ferdinand, Patrice Evra and Nemanja Vidic. Louis Van Gaal was brutal. The old guard was sent off abruptly and the squad was shorn off its attacking potency. The likes of Di Maria, Hernandez and Evra went on to enjoy glorious seasons elsewhere. Continental foes ultimately had the last laugh. And that’s not to mention the will-he-wont-he saga involving Neymar, and for Neymar, read Sergio Ramos and Pedro Rodriguez. And of course, the David De Gea debacle to round it all off.

Moreover, with the exception of Chris Smalling and David De Gea, none of the ‘old guard’ improved one iota. It would be an exercise in futility going through Van Gaal’s tactical mishaps throughout his tenure, but a lot of his selections involved square pegs in round holes. Left backs and centre-midfielders were being played as centre-backs (Rojo and Blind respectively), right and left-wingers were deployed as fullbacks (Valencia and Young), creative attacking midfielders were being shunted out wide (Mata), the Carricks and the Schweinsteigers were getting in each other’s way and the likes of Fellaini and Rooney were left pondering what their position truly is.

I can go on and on about Van Gaal’s demise but nothing epitomizes the Dutchman’s ill-fated reign than him stating that United fans' expectations were "too high”.

Manchester United, the most successful team in England’s recent memory, having high expectations? Surprise surprise.

A “team in transition” he would answer, but I’m sorry Mr. Van Gaal, this was not why we brought you on board. David Moyes was “our transition”, our “long- term solution”, but that didn’t work out.

A man with a Champions League medal, 7 league titles in 4 different countries and a bronze medal winner at a World Cup is no stopgap solution. You were hired for immediate results and immediate results you did not get.

I’m sorry Mr. Van Gaal but we just have to let you go. YES you have improved our defensive record and signed up an exciting Tony Martial. YES we will miss your animated press conferences and your off-field theatrics. But for your end of term evaluation, please refer to the below.

Dysfunctional football? Check. Disgruntled fans? Double check. Disillusioned players? Triple check.

Mr. Van Gaal, it hurts to say this but your “philosophy” has failed. Good bye and good riddance.