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Gossip: Man Utd 'target Monaco defender Sidibe', Mourinho 'wants to swap Willian for Mata', Ronaldo 'makes United bid claim'
You may have noticed that the vocabulary of football transfer gossip stories can be a bit samey. Teams “plot moves” and plan “swoops” and “launch raids” and “step up chases” and very occasionally “break banks” to get someone.
It takes a real maverick – a visionary, if you will – to rise above this hackneyed journalese and describe the act of a football team trying to buy a player in a truly original way. And by Jove, the Daily Mirror has found one!
The unnamed writer (clearly a person who is only interested in art, not fame) of the top story on the tabloid’s transfer page reports that Manchester United have “pin-pointed” Monaco full-back Djibril Sibide as a key summer target.
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Pin-pointed. The act of “finding or identifying with great accuracy or precision”. It’s not normally spelt with a hyphen, but who are we to quibble about spelling in the presence of genius? In gossip terms, this is a new and groundbreaking way of saying that a manager has found – beyond question – the player he wants.
Jose Mourinho has apparently turned to 25-year-old France international Sidibe as a replacement for left-back Luke Shaw, who the Special One would prefer to pinpoint with a targeted elastic band attack.
However, the brilliant scribe of this article peaks with the headline. Lower down we read that United have “plotted a move” for Sidibe, possibly as a part of a “double swoop” also including Monaco midfielder Fabinho. Oh well.
United launch £30m Willian raid
The Red Devils are doing similar things in the Sun, this time with regards to the Chelsea midfielder Willian. Mourinho reportedly wants to sign the Brazilian, who he once managed at Stamford Bridge, as a replacement for Juan Mata.
The Spanish playmaker, a man once cast as Jose’s twinkle-toed nemesis, appeared to have won over his boss since the Portuguese arrived at Old Trafford almost two years ago.
But it seems Mourinho has been adopting a “keep your enemies closer” approach and will now ruthlessly offload the stubble-faced 29-year-old so he can land Willian, who he loves deeply and has previously pinpointed as a key signing on several occasions.
Meanwhile, the Express claims – via Spanish website Diario Gol – that Cristiano Ronaldo could also be set for a reunion with his former Real Madrid coach Mourinho.
CR7 has allegedly “told” Bernabeu president Florentino Perez he has received a “huge offer” to return to Old Trafford. An offer so huge that he would earn even more than Lionel Messi does.
But with no one else suggesting this offer has actually been made, it does sound suspiciously like Ronaldo – having just scored a very good overhead kick – is opportunistically fishing for another pay rise.
All today’s gossip was about Manchester United – sorry.
But in other news, former Borussia Dortmund coach Thomas Tuchel is set to replace Unai Emery at Paris Saint-Germain (ESPN), West Brom have “no plans” to appoint former Ipswich boss Mick McCarthy as their next manager (Express and Star) and Liverpool are launching a raid for Monaco “wonderkid” Christian Koffi, who has been described as “the new Sadio Mane” (Mirror). Pretty scary news for the old Sadio Mane.
