Advertisement

Hot Football Transfer Gossip: Chelsea ‘want Di Maria, Keane and Davies’, Bilic ‘facing sack’

Adopt lilting Irish voice of Going for Gold host Henry Kelly.

Who am I? I’m a big-name European manager with a reputation as an astute tactician who initially struggled to assert my authority after arriving in English football, a problem I attempted to overcome by splashing out some mega-bucks and make Angel Di Maria my marquee signing.

Buzz! Louis van Gaal.

No, that’s incorrect. Sorry.

Despite starting my Premier League career in imposing style with three straight wins, people began questioning my renowned defensive excellence when I was first outplayed by Liverpool at home and then absolutely smashed by Arsenal. Also, no one could understand why I had spent £30m on David Luiz.

Buzz! It’s Antonio Conte.

Correct! The Chelsea manager is indeed planning to follow in the footsteps of LVG by making an expensive swoop for Angel Di Maria, or so say the Sun.

The £59.7m Argentine (who was downgraded to a £44.3m Argentine by the time United offloaded him to Paris Saint-Germain) apparently wants to “flourish” under a “good coach” after struggling in Ligue 1 so far this season.

Conte, meanwhile, is said to be an “admirer” of ADM and is tipped by the tabloid to make a move for him “in the summer”.

It all seems a bit risky after what happened to Van Gaal when he signed Di Maria. Next thing we know, Conte will be trying to sign Radamel Falcao too (Ah right we forgot, Chelsea already did that.)

The Blues transfer gossip doesn’t stop there, with the Mirror the latest to link them with a £25m move for Burnley defender Michael Keane, while ESPN’s “sources” think Conte wants to sign Tottenham’s Ben Davies.

The Telegraph adds that Roman Abramovich is prepared to “bankroll an overhaul” of the squad if Conte doesn’t think it is good enough to challenge for major honours. Failing that, he could just sack Conte.

Although right now that’s a fate that seems more likely to befall Slaven Bilic, who the Sun says has just three games to save his job as West Ham manager after losing five of the first six matches of the season.

The Croatian must reportedly “win one” of the next three games against either Middlesbrough, Crystal Palace or Sunderland. Not exactly the Krypton Factor, is it?

Elsewhere, Arsenal are interested in Sassuolo striker Gregoire Defrel and have watched him three times this season (Daily Mail), Sunderland want to sign Liverpool flop Joao Teixeira on loan from Porto (Express) ad Juan Mata is desperate to sign a new contract at Man Utd and has “entered talks” with Jose Mourinho (Sun). It’s unclear whether the manager has done any talking yet though.

Oh and by the way, if you were completely confused by that Henry Kelly stuff at the beginning, then watch this (At your peril.)


Ah, and the Krypton Factor was a quiz that was really hard and you had to do an obstacle course and stuff. Sorry about all this.

Follow/abuse @darlingkevin on Twitter