International HOT or NOT

What’s sexy, and not sexy, in international football this week…

HOT

Lewandowski
Amid so many groups of life, Euro 2016 qualifying group D was a cruel place to end up. Even Germany had to wait until its final knockings to secure their safe passage to France, while Scotland - despite their most effervescent campaign in recent memory - fell agonisingly short. Ireland will be relieved to have escaped to the play-offs, while Poland are simply indebted to one man. Robert Lewandowski’s crucial goals against the Tartan Army and the Republic made it 13 in total for this qualifying campaign, equalling the record set by David Healy in Northern Ireland’s (unsuccessful) Euro 2008 run. While all around him was panic, Lewandowski laughed in the face of the Group of Death.

Own Goal
Poor Sir Bobby Charlton. First Wayne Rooney broke his 45-year old record, and now he’s slipped to third in the England goalscoring charts behind an even less prolific rival. Own Goal notched its 50th strike for the Three Lions when Harry Kane’s shot bounced home off the back of Lithuania goalkeeper Giedrius Arlauskis, moving it ahead of Charlton and level with Rooney. It’s been a slow but dogged effort from OG, who has amassed its target in 948 international appearances. One suspects Rooney may need a few more goals in an England shirt to keep this relentless competitor at bay forever.

Ismail Morinaj
Albania’s advance to France 2016 is perhaps the most spectacular upset of a group phase that was packed with upsets. A team that never previously had a sniff of qualifying for anything, their players received a well-deserved heroes’ welcome in Tirana after a 3-0 win in Armenia sealed their place. But one of the side’s controversial fans could also take some credit for the success. Ismail Morinaj, who allegedly piloted the drone bearing a nationalist banner that disrupted Albania’s match in Serbia last year, has since become something of a national celebrity. The Albanians were awarded a 3-0 walkover after that game was abandoned due to scuffles between players when the drone reached the pitch. Shortly before last week’s rematch, Morinaj was arrested in a conveniently timed “security crackdown”. But the 33-year-old’s crucial contribution to the group standings had already been made.

NOT

Scandinavia
Not hot off the pitch or on it this autumn. Norway, Sweden and Denmark have all so far failed to qualify for the finals, creating the prospect of no Scandinavian representation at the Euros for the first time since 1980. Adding to this indignity is that Iceland, the trio’s tiny Nordic neighbour, booked their place in France weeks ago. It’s the equivalent of San Marino being more successful than Italy. Or a proud football nation like Scotland being overshadowed by plucky outsiders Northern Ireland and Wales. Oh…

Fighting
If Robin van Persie’s bust-up with his brief Manchester United colleague Memphis had preceded a Great Escape from Euros oblivion for the Netherlands, then it may have gone down in history as a passion-fuelled incident that galvanised the team. But instead the squabbling duo’s training ground handbags merely symbolise the malaise at the heart of the talented (it’s always talented) Dutch squad. Holland’s failure to navigate the most generous qualification round in history will rank as one of international football’s greatest humblings. Fighting team-mates evidently did little to help them, while those England fans kicking off with their Lithuanian counterparts on the terraces of Vilnius didn’t look very cool either.

Hungary
Kazakhstan’s 1-0 win in Latvia on Tuesday night - a dour, sparsely attended contest between Group A’s bottom two clubs, both will little to play for - would have appeared to be a rather meaningless fixture. But for Hungary, watching from afar in Group F, it was one of the most tragic result for decades. The once-great Magyars appeared to be destined for France 2016 - and into their first major finals since Mexico 1986 - as the best third-placed team in qualifying. But Kazakhstan’s unlikely win, their first in qualifying, moved them off the foot of the table and handed Turkey extra points in the battle for best third-placed finisher. This wouldn’t have mattered if Turkey hadn’t scored a last-minute winner against Iceland, but they did, and heartbroken Hungary have to settle for the play-offs.

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