Libby Clegg interview on her mental breakdown, joining Dancing On Ice and finding out if her son is blind

It is the same determined outlook which led Libby Clegg to accept a place on Dancing On Ice that shapes her perspective on the possibility her son Edward could be blind.

That Clegg, a double Paralympic sprint champion, suffers from the degenerative eye condition Stargadt disease has not stopped her signing up to become the first blind contestant on ITV’s celebrity ice skating show early next year. Similarly, her fiance Dan Powell, a Paralympic judoka, relished the chance to be the first blind person to attempt ITV’s Ninja Warrior UK assault course last year. To this family of high-achievers, a lack of sight is no inhibitor.

Gurgling away as he plays with Powell’s soppy guide dog Elmo in their Loughborough home, there is no sign yet that anything is wrong with seven-month-old Edward’s eyes. Clegg’s condition is recessive so Edward will not develop that, but there is a 50/50 chance he could inherit the cone-rod dystrophy that affects Powell.

Clegg, naturally, admits they would “love Edward to be able to see”. But having two blind Paralympians for parents alters perceptions around what it would mean for him to have impaired vision.

“We’re not really fussed,” says Clegg, 29. “I think because we’re both very independent blind people we’re not worried about it. We’re both successful in what we do.

“If he does have a sight condition, it’s not that I would expect him to become a Paralympic champion or anything, but there are options. There are a lot of things you can do that people tend to restrict you and not think you can.

“He could go into anything. If he can’t see, we’re not going to treat him any differently anyway.”

The next fortnight will be the longest Clegg has ever been away from her young son when she returns to the British team for the World Para Athletics Championships, which begin in Dubai on Thursday. Having raced just six times in more than three years, it will mark her first international appearance since winning T11 100m and 200m gold at the Rio 2016 Paralympics.

Ironically, the catalyst for the most difficult time in her career was the culmination of everything she had strived for. A few months after upgrading Paralympic silver medals from 2008 and 2012 to double gold in 2016 she burst into tears at training and “had a mental breakdown”.

She says: “I felt like I’d achieved my ultimate goals and it didn’t make me happy. I’d sacrificed my entire life and made some horrible choices over the years – not going to family funerals and not committing to previous relationships properly. I’d done all those things and it hadn’t fulfilled me at all.

“You just put everything into it and forget who you are as a person because you’re so focused and driven on being an athlete and winning medals. I sacrificed having a normal life. I just felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore. It was horrible.”

In no place mentally to compete at her home World Championships in London in 2017, Clegg sat out the entire year - “which was gutting,” she says - before briefly returning to action in 2018 only to find out she was pregnant. The pregnancy was planned and she continued to train throughout it with a determination to resume her sprinting career once becoming a mother.

An emergency caesarean meant for a traumatic birth this April, but Clegg admits she was stubborn in her insistence that she “wasn’t going to sit at home in my pyjamas for a few weeks”. After returning to low intensity training four weeks post-birth, she was back at full pelt by the two-month mark, coming to terms with the sensation of “feeling like you’ve been put in someone else’s body”.

Her three comeback races in late summer saw her finish many seconds down on her personal bests and she admits a medal may prove beyond her over the coming week of competition in Dubai, where she will contest the 200m and universal 4x100m relay alongside her guide runner Thomas Somers, although she says she “could potentially do quite well considering I’ve had a baby”.

Her main aim is to start preparing herself for the defence of her Paralympic titles next year. Which does of course raise the question of why she is going on a reality television programme just seven months out from those Tokyo 2020 Games. Numerous contestants have broken bones with the benefit of full vision in previous series of Dancing On Ice, while Clegg has not ice skated since the age of 12 or 13.

Sat on the floor surrounded by Edward’s toys, Clegg admits with a sheepish laugh that her decision has not exactly been welcomed by those in charge at British Athletics. But it is with her son in mind, and an eagerness to prove blindness is no hindrance, that she insists she could not turn it down.

“Paula [Dunn, British Athletics para head coach] expressed it’s really not the best year to do it and I completely agree with her, but these opportunities don’t come around very often,” says Clegg. “I felt like if I didn’t take it I’d regret not doing it.

“I weighed up the options and it gives me an opportunity to get myself in front of a different audience and open other doors for me. I’ve got a son now so I need to think about financially making the most of situations.”

She also suggests there may be some benefits - in addition to obvious negatives - to her lack of vision.

“Because I can’t see very well, when we do spins I don’t feel dizzy, whereas a lot of people do,” she says.

“But it’s definitely scary not being able to see because I’ve got no reference points. Trying to learn technique is quite difficult because I can’t just see a demonstration or see a line. I’m just going to try and do my best.

“I like a new challenge and this is definitely a new challenge. I’m not going to be as bad as you think. I won’t be the first person out.”