'There was light' - Former Everton and Liverpool youngster opens up on mental health journey

The build-up to a Premier League 2 match against Southampton was meant to be like any other for former Everton youngster Tom Scully.

Norwich City made the journey to the south coast in March 2019 with the likes of Carlton Morris, now of Luton Town and Celtic loanee Adam Idah lining up against Nathan Tella, Will Smallbome and England international Fraser Forster.

For the then-19-year-old, he was set to make his 18th Premier League 2 appearance in his first full season at the under-23 level for David Wright’s side.

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But something wasn’t right. “I was sharing a flat with one of the lads but he was out on loan, so I was going to training and coming back to no one. It was a horrible cycle that I was going through, it wasn’t a nice one,” he explains.

“We were playing Southampton and I said to my mate before the game: ‘I cannot play this game’. And I got dragged off in the 60th minute then after that burst into tears to the manager and said I needed help.”

A matter of hours later, he would return north back to his home in Liverpool - where he was out of action for four weeks with anxiety and depression.

From working with Steven Gerrard to winning the league with Leek Town

Scully moved to Norwich City after he wasn’t offered a professional contract at boyhood club Everton. The midfielder worked his way through the age groups across Stanley Park at Liverpool after signing aged five, until he decided to swap red for blue.

His move came during a period at the Liverpool academy where they would look to bolster their ranks with players from outside of Kirkby and further afield, completing business with the likes of Barcelona and Arsenal.

He made the decision at 15 and made the cross-city switch after enjoying spells under former Liverpool captain, Steven Gerrard during his coaching badges and Reds assistant manager Pep Lijnders.

Scully revealed that his decision was something that his grandmother “begged him to do”. He said: “I didn’t see a future for myself there, they were signing centre-mids from Arsenal, Chelsea, Barcelona so I thought it was time to call it quits and I’m blue myself, my nan had always begged me to go to Everton.”

The COVID pandemic and cost-saving measures put an end to Scully’s time in Norfolk with cost-cutting measures in place, where he made three EFL Trophy appearances, scoring once against Portsmouth. From there, he joined Accrington Stanley where he made 10 appearances including three in League One.

He joined Carrick Rangers in search of first-team minutes but suffered an ankle injury which curtailed his involvement in Northern Ireland, before he joined Nantwich Town on a temporary basis until his release from Accrington.

Scully has found his place at Leek Town in Staffordshire. The 24-year-old was a part of the side that ended their torrid run of back-to-back playoff semi-final defeats as Josh Brehaut led them to the Northern Premier League West title in dominant fashion.

Although his involvement in the title run-in was hampered by an injury to the other ankle he injured during his time in the Premiership, he enjoyed a strong season alongside his job as a full-time coach.

“I absolutely love it. I had a good season with Leek - winning the title - I love coaching and seeing kids be happy and improve, that’s what I get a buzz off and the season with Leek has been absolutely amazing.”

'There is light at the end of the tunnel'

“It was the loneliness, anxiety, depression and all that stuff creeps in,” says Scully. “There was no starting point for it, it slowly came and I felt myself wanting to rush home and sleep.

“There wasn’t one point that started, it slowly crept in. I don’t get nervous playing, I thrive off that and it wasn’t affecting my football until that one game where I said I just can’t play.

“I remember the ball was coming to me and I wasn’t interested, I was thinking what I’m going to do when I get home.

“I was thinking it in the game and it wasn’t right at all because usually I can’t wait to play, but in that game, I knew I couldn’t. Even on the way there, I thought there is no way that I can play then stopped playing after that for three or four weeks.”

He added: “It affected my game, it was evident that it was affecting my game so the two go hand-in-hand. I had to come out of it because if I went through it silently, they’d judge me and wouldn’t know why, so I had to come out and speak.”

With the support of the Professional Footballers Association (PFA), he went and had sessions with a therapist.

For Scully, speaking out about mental health isn’t a rare thing. The 24-year-old was one of the trailblazers at the Canaries to speak openly about his troubles, where he was allowed the club’s platform to tell his story.

There is an element of guilt and bemusement from the midfielder when he reflects on how quickly he was seen to, due to his job, while the mental health crisis in the city and across the United Kingdom reaches breaking point.

At first, opening up wasn’t easy. He explains: “I remember for my first session I was 20 minutes late because I was looking out at the front, I didn’t want to go to it, once I did it I was fine.

“Once they found out, all the pressure had gone. When I’ve been sent home from Norwich, everyone is asking ‘what is going on’ and you don’t want to tell them but when it comes out, the questions stop. The bad questions are gone, it’s all the good stuff: ‘what can we do?’ As soon as I’ve come out about it, everybody knows and it was massive for - it helped loads.”

Five years have passed since the initial diagnosis for Scully. There are good days and bad days, the negatives flood back - especially during times with the injury he currently has. With the support he has had and the system he has in place, there are ways to help him cope with the difficulties, but he isn’t immune to dark periods.

He said: “Just because I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, doesn’t mean it won’t come back, it does. If I’m anxious, I’ll know how to deal with it but I still have them days, it’s just about snapping out of it.”

Scully adds: “There is a light at the end of the tunnel. My therapist asked me that at the beginning and I said no, seven or eight sessions later, I thought there was. There is always help, no matter how long it takes.”