Newcastle United Half Season Review

When I was asked to compile a ½ season review for Newcastle United, my heart sank. This has been a truly awful season so far and there are only a few positives to talk about - and I’ll be really stretching myself to find them. I have no idea how full time journalists can dedicate their professional lives to writing about Newcastle United without having at least two serious mental break downs along the way; all the club give you is misery upon misery with a few false dawns thrown in. The club is rotten.

Newcastle United is a club on a steep decline; earlier on in the season I compared them with a poor soul in palliative care - their illness has taken over them, their fight has gone and they have “do not resuscitate” written in big red letters at the front of their patient file. There is no hope for them, it is only a matter of time before they drift away. Their only hope is to apply to Wonga for a short term loan to fund some new age medicine only found in the oil rich state in far away lands.

A club in decline

Whilst it might be a little harsh to compare a football club to a person that is dying, it is the way I feel right now and I suspect a lot of other Newcastle United fans will agree with me to some extent; I have a gut wrenching feeling of dread whenever Newcastle United take to the field, I am sick and tired of seeing us lose and simply step aside as other clubs come charging towards us - it hurts me to see the club in this state, whilst I might write these articles somewhat tongue in cheek, I get no pleasure from us losing badly. As fans we love the club, we hurt when we lose and feel joy when we win (or even play well) but when you see a distinct lack of effort on the pitch and have suspicions that the players playing in our beloved black and white stripes do not replicate our passion and dedication on the pitch, it leaves a nasty, bitter taste in your mouth.

The Newcastle United fans are at an all time low having witnessed a start to the 15/16 season, following on from the second half of the 14/15 that is ranked as the worse calendar year in the club’s history. In 2015, Newcastle United have picked up a meagre 30 points from 38 games and relegation looks a certainty unless form and most importantly, results, pick up. Only Aston Villa have a worse 2015 record than us (25 points) with Sunderland also on 30 points but have a better goal difference - quite rightly these 3 teams make up the bottom 3 of the Premiership table.

There is nothing to smile about right now. And here is the thing, this season is no different to the previous ones. For years now we have flirted with relegation and whilst a decent run part way through the season often saves us by the skin of our teeth we are quite frankly sick of it.

New hope?

The season started with a bit of a bang, following Mike Ashley’s impromptu interview before the last game of the season against West Ham in May 2015, we went in to the 2015/16 season with a new manager, a new coaching setup and £50m worth of signings. What could go wrong? Quite a lot actually.

At the time of writing this, Newcastle United sit 18th in the league with a paltry 17 points from 20 games. We have won only 4 games, drew 5 and lost a whopping 11, conceding an eye watering 35 goals along the way. The stats don’t lie, we are expected to concede 1.5 goals a game; that is shocking. If things don’t change, relegation is inevitable.

The thing is, I have no idea why we are so bad as on paper, in my possibly biased opinion anyway, we have a good side. Whilst we are short on numbers we have a lot of international talent in the side and I am at a loss as to why things haven’t clicked. Is it down to the owner and his “blueprint”, is it down to the recruitment team not identifying the correct players? Is it the manager? Are the players good enough? Do we have the right person as captain? Or, if Alan Pardew was still manager, are the crowd to blame? Is it a combination of everything?

Blame game

I don’t have the answers; some fans put the blame solely at Ashley’s feet and although I have never gone along with that, it’s hard not to jump on that band wagon right now. Ashley said he wants to win something at Newcastle United. When he said that, the pub I was in roared with laughter. I’ve talked about the mythical deluded Geordie and “Geordie Nation” on here before; we don’t expect to win things, we really, really don’t. Yes, it would be nice but we don’t expect it. What we do expect is to watch a team that cares and whilst there have been some small glimmers of that in recent matches, it is few and far between and as is often the case, these have proven to be false dawns and we revert to type the game after. There is simply no consistency with Newcastle United these days; I think Alan Shearer said something along these lines on Match of the Day recently - you just don’t know which Newcastle United will turn up. We have witnessed some cracking performances this season but why do they only occur every 5 or 6 games?

Anyway, enough of the ranting, I’ll try to summarise some of the positives.

Player of the Season (so far)

For me it is between two of our new signings; Gini Wijnaldum and Chancel Mbemba. It might sound odd having a centre back in my top 2 given our awful defensive record but I have genuinely been impressed with Mbemba. He is big, strong, extremely pacey and I for one would be building a defence around him. Whilst he has made some errors, he is not to blame for the majority of our conceded goals. The winner though has to be Gini Wijnaldum, he oozes class and I suspect he will attract a lot of interest from Champions League clubs in the summer. I am a little confused as to what his position is though having been played out on the left wing for the majority of this season. I always had him down as a central attacking midfielder and in all honesty, when he does get to play in this position, he excels. He has drifted in and out of some games but he is by far and away our strongest player.

Worst Player of the Season (so far)

Where do I start with this one? I could name a few! I might get some shtick for this one but I would go for our captain, Fabricio Coloccini. I have seen him turn in some wonderful performances over the years but they are so irregular I’d class him more as a liability these days which is a real, real shame as I like him a lot. I do not think he leads the team on the pitch all that well, I rarely see him being vocal and he lacks the physical presence against some of the bigger forwards in the league, of which there are many. He has been often to blame for poor marking at corners and set pieces and whilst our poor form is not solely down to him (as I said, I could probably add 5 or 6 more names in to the mix), he is captain. I expect far more from a club captain

Where do I expect the club to finish this season?

I have a bit of a downer on the club at the moment but deep down I think we will be ok (blind faith mixed with a deluded Geordie!). I expect us to do some business in the transfer window and I do think we will start to pick up points sooner, rather than later. Whilst I think we will be safe, I expect another nervy end to the season and I predict we will finish 17th. I expect Aston Villa, Sunderland and possibly Bournemouth to be dragged down with them

Who do we need to sign in January?

A whole team is probably the correct answer! I think we are crying out for better defenders so I would like to see a centre back signed as well as a left back to replace Fabricio Coloccini and Paul Dummett respectively. However, given that one of these is the club captain I have a nagging feeling that the defence won’t be strengthened in January and instead they will gamble on survival and wait for the summer. Steve McClaren has already hinted at wanting a striker and given he is soon to be out of contract I expect we will make a push for Charlie Austin. Football Manager legend Henri Saivet has also been strongly linked but oddly as a defensive midfielder when I always thought he was a pacey winger? I said in my last blog that if signings are to be made this January we need players with experience and not to take a gamble on up-coming, un-tested talent. Charlie Austin fits that category and I’d also like us to make a push for Michael Carrick and possibly Jose Enrique.

Half Season Score

4/10

A fairly diabolical start to the season but there are some glimmers of hope.