Pie ‘n’ a Pint Diary: England’s Emoji Dummies; Wales call in the Ghosbusters; Rugby Poets and goodbye Burger

As the Rugby World Cup is played out across England and Wales, we uncover the best weird and wonderful stories of the tournament.

Masks of Sorrow

Full of eve-of-tournament expectation, The Tabard – a cosy theatre pub in Chiswick, West London – set up a festive line-out of wooden silhouettes dressed in England kit along its street-facing garden frontage.

Each figure was given a photo-face of an iconic England legend: Martin Johnson, Jeremy Guscott, Jonny Wilkinson and so on.

The morning after England’s humiliating exit from the tournament, however, the figures’ faces had taken on a different persona: all had been masked by identikit sad-faced emojis.

Ghostbusters

News that the Welsh team had been spooked at their team hotel is not to be dismissed as a world cup silly story.

Long before Dan Lydiate and Sam Warburton reported difficulties in sleeping in Room 1313, recurring paranormal activity had been celebrated at Oatlands Park Hotel, near Weybridge in Surrey.

Brave souls Justin Tipuric and Toby Faletau have now moved into Room 1313. But they must be warned: a local clairvoyant says the ghost is “attracted to male energy”.

The establishment was built in 1856 on the site of a palace belonging to Henry VIII and features in many directories of haunted places in Britain.
The ghost in Room 1313, situated below the Bell Tower on an upper floor of the Tudor Wing, is said to be a 19th century maid who suffered a horrific death following a lovers’ tiff.

The spirit manifests itself as a ‘cold spot’, though it also opens drawers, moves the TV, switches on the radio and generally makes such a racket that guests in neighbouring rooms have in the past complained only to be told the room was unoccupied.

Name that side

Soane Tonga'uiha became the first player with the name of his country in his surname to score a try in Rugby World Cup history, when he crossed the line in the Pool C match against Argentina.

Other World Cup try scorers whose surname included a competing country other than their own include Ivan FRANCEscato, who scored for Italy against USA in 1991, and Thierry DUSAutoir, who scored for France against Namibia and New Zealand in 2007 and again against New Zealand in the final in 2011.

#National Poetry Day #RWCHaikus

In the week of National Poetry Day, the Rugby World Cup has been running a Haiku competition for fans to share their emotions. The rules for the short poems are as rigorous as for the best set-piece – three lines of five, seven and five syllables.

Entries range from Simon Conway’s objective overview:

“England, host nation,
had so much expectation;
crushing deflation”

…to Kim Crossley’s impassioned:

“Despite our downfall,
My heart, always with my team,
Still an English Rose”

But it’s the sin bin for ‏@Scott_Arthur for not abiding by the rules with his

“England are out,
Red & Gold prevailed,
Posh boys in White,
weren’t up for the fight,
St George was truly slayed.”

Hmmm. Too few syllables, too many lines.

Eat, Pray, Sing

Help is at hand for visitors to Twickenham suffering the misfortune of having Paloma Faith’s ‘World in Union’ on the brain.

St Mary Magdalene church in Richmond, a short distance from the home of English rugby, is staging a rugby sing-song at noon on Saturday.

To the accompaniment of The Honourable Artillery Company Regimental Band, all-comers are invited to bellow out favourite rugby songs from many of the nations taking part in tournament.

Top tunes include: ‘Jerusalem’ (England), ‘Bread of Heaven’ (Wales), ‘Flower of Scotland’ (Scotland), the National Anthem (Home Nations), ‘Danny Boy’ (Ireland), ‘Waltzing Matilda’ (Australia). And, of course, ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot’.

Georgian Era

Congratulations to Georgia, whose tightly-fought 17-16 victory over Namibia means they look set to complete their Pool C campaign with a third-place finish and an historic ticket to the 2019 Rugby World Cup.

Only a huge tournament upset - in the shape of Tonga beating the All Blacks– will prevent their automatic qualification for Japan.

No wonder prop Davit Zirakashvili was happy to announce his retirement from international rugby, having played his last game for the Lelos. “It’s really something beautiful for a small country like Georgia,” he said with pride.

“[We] came along to the World Cup for the first time in 2003, and now in 2015 we’re in the top 12 teams at the World Cup.”

It’s a long way from their 2003 debut. Then, when England thrashed Georgia 84-6, Martin Johnson’s men were left bemused when the entire Georgia squad thronged the dressing room to have their photographs taken with the England players.

Tough Burger

Namibian Jacques Burger has ended his international career prematurely in a way that is ironically befitting of his reputation – a typically committed tackle on Georgia centre Merab Sharikadze having knocked him out cold.

The talismanic captain, who had intended Namibia’s game against Argentina to be his swansong, had a test career that spanned more than nine years and 36 caps, including RWC appearances in 2007, 2011 and 2015.

More than anything, Burger is universally admired for his competitive spirit, and that abundantly clear when his Namibian team recently shared a training session with the Springboks.

At the start, South Africa coach Heyneke Meyer called all the players together and explained that as they were worried about injuries, there would be no unnecessary contact between players in the session.

“Everyone immediately turned to Jacques in a joking manner and asked him to be careful,” a team insider told me. “It was all in good spirit and quite clearly showed that his reputation as one of the world’s most feared tacklers had preceded him.”

Roman-tic Hero

Romania have no hope of progressing towards the ultimate prize, but one player will return home with a trophy – in the form of a fiancée.

On the biggest platform for a romantic gesture, Florin Surugiu went down on one knee by the side of the pitch at Wembley Stadium after defeat at the hands of Ireland and proposed to his girlfriend.

Valiant Romania had been given a standing ovation by a Wembley crowd of 89,217 after their 44-10 loss. Following an impromptu lap of honour, the Romanian side walked back on to the field and stopped in a line to face the tunnel.

Clearly, there was more emotion to be wrung from the occasion.

Surugiu stepped forward to face his girlfriend, who had been guided down to the pitch edge. He popped the question and his future wife leapt into his arms. The rest of the team broke into a round of applause.

Top Dogs

A strange version of fantasy rugby is doing the rounds whereby competitors name their dream dog XV according to qualities ideally required for each position.

Which canines would get your call? The latest to pop into your diarist’s inbox goes like this:

1 – Bulldog (a strong, stubborn and patient loosehead prop)
2 – Staffordshire bull terrier (sturdy and energetic hooker)
3 – Pit bull terrier (an agile, strong, resourceful tighthead prop)
4 – Great Dane (a fast, tall, intelligent loosehead lock)
5 – Irish Wolfhound (ditto, for tighthead lock)
6 – Airedale Terrier (an intelligent, visionary and robust blindside flanker)
7 – Rhodesian Ridgeback (ideal for a confident, territorial openside flanker)
8 – Rottweiler (imperious number eight who balances ferocity with aggression)
9 – Springer Spaniel (a springy scrum-half good at hunting opportunities)
10 – Collie (an agile fly-half, great at reading the game)
11 – Irish Setter (a lightning fast, elusive left wing)
12 – Australian Sheepdog (intelligent, independent inside centre)
13 – Boxer (a bright and playful outside centre)
14 – Greyhound (zippy and keen-sighted right wing)
15 – Alsatian (an authoritative marshaller for full back)