Yahoo Sport 
Premier League HOT or NOT
What’s very sexy, and not remotely sexy, in football this week…
HOT
Jesse Lingard
About a million people or more have had a stab at picking Manchester United’s best line-up over the last few months. In the wide positions they’ve juggled Mata, Memphis, Martial, Young, Valencia and even players that haven’t signed for the club yet, like Bale and Neymar. But how many Man Utd fans picked Jesse Lingard in their dream team? The Old Trafford youth product was last week promoted to the first team by Louis van Gaal and he has repaid the manager with two man-of-the-match displays against CSKA Moscow and West Brom. The Warrington-born winger, who was loaned out to Derby last season, is keeping £25m man Memphis on the substitutes’ bench. Reputation isn’t everything.
Rob Elliot
Newcastle’s 29-year-old shot-stopper is their reserve goalkeeper for a reason, namely that he isn’t good enough to be a first-choice Premier League goalkeeper. But the Londoner has been content to sit watching Tim Krul between the sticks for the last four years because he held onto a dream that someday, somehow, the Dutchman would either be sold, suffer a season-ending injury or go stark-raving mad and emigrate to a desert island with his cat. Unfortunately for the Magpies, the second of those things happened, and understudy Elliot is taking his chance with both gloved hands. The keeper made five vital saves against Bournemouth as Steve McClaren’s side kept a scarcely deserved clean sheet and won 1-0 with their only shot on target. Maybe Elliot knew something we didn’t all along - he actually is good enough to be a first-choice Premier League player.
Erik Pieters’ nose
Most people’s reaction to being kicked in the face would be to go and have a sit-down and a cry, but not Stoke City’s left-back. Pieters was on the receiving end of a high boot from Chelsea’s Pedro early in the Potters’ 1-0 win against the Blues, prompting a bloody explosion in the Dutchman’s nasal area. But despite looking like an extra from a zombie film for the remainder of the match, Pieters responded by giving one of his best Premier League performances, throwing everything in front of Chelsea’s attacks, including at one point his testicles. There was still bloody dripping out of his nostrils at the final whistle. It was really rather disgusting.
NOT
Garry Monk
It seems ridiculous to be writing that Swansea’s manager is at risk of being sacked, but people have been writing it following the Swans’ defeat at Norwich - their sixth loss in nine games. The boss’s slick hair and suit still look immaculate, but there’s an increased air of glumness about the 36-year-old as he encounters the stickiest spell of his 21-month old management career. While Monk has surely bought himself breathing space with his previous record, he might recall that Michael Laudrup’s demise at the Liberty Stadium was ruthlessly swift. The Welsh side’s next match is at home to Bournemouth - when the rumours about Monk will either be stamped out, or given further fuel.
Thierry Henry
One of football’s coolest customers shared a Sky Sports punditry panel with one of the game’s scariest customers, Graeme Souness, for Sunday’s north London derby. And on the evidence that followed, scary will always trump cool. As Souness was making an important point in the studio, Henry decided to add some of his own thoughts, but it was a badly timed interjection. “I’m talking!” barked the terrifying Scotsman, as if admonishing an annoying child rather than Arsenal’s record goalscorer, before seamlessly continuing to make his important point. The interchange left the impression that Souness doesn’t think Henry is as cool as Henry thinks he is. It also confirmed that Souness is even scarier than we’d imagined. The Frenchman, perhaps wisely, did not retaliate.
James McCarthy
It’s been a joy to watch West Ham’s Dimitri Payet since his £10.7m summer move to the Premier League. Too old to be of interest to a top-four club, too mercurial to be called up by France, the stocky 28-year-old instead settled for bestowing his dazzling array of tricks and unerring talent for assists upon Hammers fans. But after being the recipient of an unsavoury tackle from behind by Everton’s McCarthy during the Toffees’ 1-1 draw at Upton Park, the Frenchman’s Premier League honeymoon is over. Payet is out for three months, while McCarthy has escaped with just a yellow card and a barrage of ugly tweets from enraged cockneys.
