Premier League HOT or NOT: Mata, double overhead kicks, Leicester, Hart

What’s sexy, and what isn’t, in football this week…

HOT

Juan Mata
Tears of sadness would have streamed down the Spanish playmaker’s stubbly cheeks the day Jose Mourinho was appointed Manchester United manager, such is the Special One’s well-publicised lack of faith in the 28-year-old’s footballing abilities. So the first competitive goal of Mourinho’s Old Trafford reign could not have been scored by an unlikelier man. Discarded by the Portuguese at Chelsea and seemingly set to suffer a similar fate again, especially when he was substituted in the Community Shield 30 minutes after coming on, Mata instead proved the catalyst for Mourinho’s winning start at Bournemouth. “I know what he can give me, and I know what he cannot give me,” said the coach pre-match, with admirable maturity. (Although Mourinho seemed mature before the start of last season too.)

Double overhead kicks
There was nothing about Hull City’s victory against champions Leicester that made any sense, coming as it did with no manager, no signings, 13 fit players, a midfielder at centre-back and an aura of discontent engulfing the stadium. Therefore, it was fitting that the goal which set the Tigers on their way to victory also defied standard footballing logic. It’s well known that overhead kicks often end in embarrassment, and rarely in goals, so when Abel Hernandez and Adama Diomande attempted one in fully synchronised union it didn’t bode well. But one of them, or possibly both of them, scored. Both players celebrated - because amazingly they did both connect - with Diomande eventually awarded the goal and Hernandez the assist. Ridiculous. Will clubs be practising this new technique on the training ground this week? No, because it will never happen again.

Tony Pulis
At a time of the season when everyone is obsessed with seeing evidence of change, it takes a brave man to remain exactly, unflappably the same. That man is Tony Pulis. One of the West Brom’s manager most enduring qualities is that doesn’t care about how he’s perceived. (This is a man who once headbutted one of his own players while naked, remember. Most people would have at least put some pants on first.) So the tracksuited taskmaster was quite happy employing the same players (aside from solitary new signing Matt Phillips) and the same tactics as last season with the same results - seven of the Baggies’ 10 victories last season were by 1-0 scorelines.

NOT

Leicester City
So what do we reckon? Going down? Just as the Foxes revelled in their tag of underdogs last season, this year they may have to bear a new one: imposters. In other words, a flash in the pan; not proper football aristocracy; the football equivalent of chavtastic lottery winner Michael Carroll - doomed to self-destruct. It doesn’t help that Leicester have instantly become the first ever Premier League champions to lose their opening game of the season. There were still signs of the old fighting spirit against Hull, but this mainly consisted of Jamie Vardy punching himself in the face. And one of the first things you learn in life is that punching yourself in the face never helps any situation. As for celebrity Fox Gary Lineker, sorry mate - but those weren’t pants. They were shorts.

Joe Hart
You have to feel a bit sorry for the Manchester City goalkeeper, who seems to have been dropped due to lack of ability with his feet as opposed to his hands. It’s a bit like Wayne Rooney losing his place in the Manchester United side because he can’t spin a basketball with one finger. But in Pep Guardiola’s world, everything is different, and that goes for goalkeepers too. Pep wants a keeper who can receive a dodgy back-pass from Gael Clichy under pressure without cracking, and also to stop shots. To be fair, Hart could have helped his case if he hadn’t also been struggling with the stopping shots part.

Glasses
To have your spectacles smashed to smithereens in a post-match goal celebration once (as Jurgen Klopp did when Liverpool won at Norwich last season) could be considered unlucky, but when it happens a second time - well, that’s just being reckless with your eyewear. Liverpool’s thrilling 4-3 victory at Arsenal was all well and good in a footballing sense (well, actually, it wasn’t ALL well and good - but we won’t get into that now) but the Reds’ relentless march to the title is not sustainable if their manager can’t keep his glasses on his face. Eventually they’ll have someone’s eye out - Klopp’s. Get some contact lenses Jurgen, or at least wear specs like Edgar Davids that don’t fall off all the time. Apart from that, good result well done.

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