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Redknapp ‘didn’t realise’ he’d have to actually attend Birmingham games

Harry Redknapp has expressed his complete commitment to keeping Birmingham City in the Championship, once he’s navigated his varied social calendar.

The veteran tactician took the reins at St Andrew’s charged with arresting a period of freefall that started when Gary Rowett was axed for arresting a period of freefall.

And while Redknapp is delighted to have returned to football with his first job in management since he inadvertently took charge of the Jordan national team while on a package holiday, he has immediately been irked by the prospect of losing his Sunday afternoon for a game against rivals Aston Villa.

“I didn’t realise it [coaching Birmingham City Football Club] would be Sundays and that,” Redknapp told FourFourTwo.

“I’m pretty sure it never used to be Sundays. I’ve got a few golf games lined up that I’ll have to move, or at least shift my tee times, but of course I’ll do that for the job.

“And, to be fair, Birmingham’s a little bit further up the motorway than I thought.

“But, like I say, absolutely honoured and delighted to be managing Birmingham.

“I’m Birmingham ’til I die, or until a lucrative punditry gig comes up. Whichever comes first I suppose.”

Contract wangle

An insider at Birmingham has revealed that Redknapp’s contract doesn’t explicitly stipulate that Redknapp must attend any Birmingham City games, a loophole that he may use to his advantage.

“I mean, we tend to take it as read that, as manager, you’d come along to the games,” our source told FourFourTwo.

“But we’re open to negotiation. Maybe we could create a little putting green in the technical area?”

Please note: This satirical news story is not real. Like, obviously.

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