Roy Keane lets rip: Manchester United legend's most ferocious rants

Roy Keane and reporters go together as seamlessly as Jose Mourinho and an attacking performance away to a title rival.

There’s probably more chance of getting a thunderous forward-thinking plan of action from the Manchester United boss at Anfield or Stamford Bridge than a smile in a press conference from the former midfielder.

But as uncomfortably seat-twitching as it is for the hacks who have to ask him questions, for everyone else the utterly terrifying Keane’s media briefings are a laugh a minute.

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There’s something deeply unnerving about the hard-tackling and hard-talking Ireland assistant manager, who on Saturday hopes to take his nation one step closer to the World Cup finals with a first leg win in Copenhagen against Denmark.

His one-liners, savage put downs and obvious and over the top eye-rolls leaves you watching through your fingers – but the sheer awkwardness makes it totally unmissable.

We’ve picked out some of our favourites from over the years as Keane leaves us cringing but cackling in equal amounts.

Great Dane pain:

After yesterday confessing he’s ‘a tea boy’ who “doesn’t know what he’s doing here to be honest”, Keane then had a dig a former team mate Peter Schmeichel when asked what he’ll say before the big game. “F**k all,” he said. “He’s not playing, what do you want me to say to him? I don’t keep in touch with Peter.” Meow!

Leadership let down:

Keane knows how to earn the armband. When Kieran Gibbs captained Arsenal, the honour was quickly questioned. “When I see (Kieran) Gibbs with the captain’s armband on, you’re in big trouble. If he’s your captain or your leader, if he’s the guy who’s going to bring everyone together, you’re in huge trouble.”

Who are ya?

Sometimes he just snaps. Pushed too far when asked about his bravery to confront Martin O’Neill about claims Keane’s behaviour is undermining him, he barked: “Who the hell do you think you are? I’ve got to answer you? No I don’t”.

Get a grip!

If you’re planning to have a party having not actually won anything, don’t bother giving Keane a call.

“When I see clubs like Liverpool, and even Man United, celebrating getting into the top four, I cringe at it, I really do,” he said. “Do you think Real Madrid and Barcelona would be celebrating getting to fourth? Come on, get a grip”

Savaging Robbie Savage:

Keane’s autobiography brought us this corker. “I rang Mark Hughes. Robbie Savage wasn’t in the Blackburn team and I asked Mark if we could try to arrange a deal. Sparky gave me permission to give him a call. So I got Robbie’s mobile number and rang him. It went to his voicemail: ‘Hi, it’s Robbie – whazzup!’ like the Budweiser ad. I never called him back. I thought: ‘I can’t be f*****g signing that.’”

It’s good to talk

A good reporter will be contactable at all times. Shame the former Ipswich manager doesn’t see it like that when a mobile went off when he was speaking.

“Whose phone is that?” he growled. “That’s the second time it’s gone off. Why don’t you turn it off? You’re sitting there, it’s the second time it’s gone off. Why don’t you put it on silent? Why don’t you turn it off? You’re just going to let it ring? Oh right, that’s good manners.”

The halo slips

Mick McCarthy vs Roy Keane is one of football’s great off-field battles. But at least Roy puts his hands up when he steps out of line. “I said to Mike that I don’t respect him as a player, as a manager or as a person,” he said. “To be fair I used an expletive against him as well. I’m no angel.” He later went on to say: “That man can rot in hell for all I care.”