Is Soccerex a hotbed of socialist revolutionary fervour?

As the Sun demands that Britain ramps up its military presence in Syria, it is clear that this is a country that has not learned the lessons of its past. It is Britain’s involvement in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya which has gone a long way to destabilising the Middle East, and is also partly responsible for the radicalisation of some British Muslims, who have taken up the cause of Islamism. Yet the establishment never seem to learn that Britain’s neo-colonialist mindset is at the root of the problems, the ones that cause refugee crises and violence to break out across the world. It is too easy for them to leave alone, and work with those who need assistance in the way that they ask for. Perhaps propping up murderous tyrants is no way to secure a lasting peace in any country.

In football, there’s an increased militarism as well. The FA Cup is blighted by the presence of the armed forces parading the trophy and expecting to be praised and applauded as they carry out the difficult task of holding a trophy and walking about. John Terry, Joe Hart and Wayne Rooney have all expressed their support for the troops in the past, and all this despite the blanket ban on politics in football, apparently. There is a clear double standard in football.

But someone is willing to stand up to the ruling class. Just take a look at Michael Owen’s blood-curdling contribution at the Soccerex convention in Manchester:

“It’s becoming a thing in football now. At Everton’s training ground, Roberto Martínez wants all his tactical sessions filmed from above – you can really see the game from a different perspective.

“Managers always see from the side, from the sideline, the dugout – a lot of people wonder why managers go up into the stand; it’s because you can get such a better picture tactically where your men are, and how things are going. Thierry Henry [when] doing his badges – he wants all his sessions filmed from above.”

Allow me a thought experiment:

The threat is obvious. Train harder, or be bombed by unmanned drones at the behest of Thierry Henry and Roberto Martinez. They are training armies of super-fit athletes to take on the Queen’s forces, and David Cameron’s leadership. It seems that the veneration of military means has been noted those who come from abroad to work in England. Martinez from Spain, Owen from Wales and Henry from France. How long until the players take up arms against their managers, who run a bloodthirsty regime of terror to keep their players in check as they pursue the overthrow of capital. Will the naked self-interest of players nip this revolution in the bud before it can seize the means of production for the common good?

Owen, Martinez and Henry could be gathering arms as we speak, with the usual talk of complacency and appeasement ringing across the media. Jeremy Corbyn, when pressed on the matter, would invite the troika to his flat for a cup of coffee or tea - their choice, as guests - and welcome them as friends. He would claim to understand the ‘very real frustrations’ they had with dealing with plutocratic owners, and the big business of the Premier League and the chairmen that own the clubs. Soccerex is a hotbed of revolutionary fervour and this crisis must be averted.

Instead of supporting the greatest pool of labour, the workers, he would explain that it was their duty to follow their managers, and to rise up with them, not against them. Petty self-interest, he would explain, would hold back the real protagonists of the revolution. For Stalin, Marx and Lenin, Corbyn would highlight the parallels with the insurrectionary anger felt by the trio. He would call for new legislation to class the three not as terrorists, but as freedom fighters.

There would be casualties, of course. In the purges, Charlie Nicholas, Karl Henry and Frank Lampard would all be placed in the gulag, charged with collaboration. Liberals like the New Labour-supporting Alex Ferguson would be imprisoned for his commitment to an impure ideology. Robbie Savage would be sent to Siberia in a nakedly populist move.

It seems far-fetched, I suppose, to think that these three personalities could start a full-blooded overthrow of the Queen. But the real question is, on the day that she becomes the longest serving monarch in Britain, having given her life to the state to ensure that we are properly ruled and cared for, can we take that risk? Surely we must demand that David Cameron personally charges Roberto Martinez, Michael Owen and Thierry Henry with pre-emptive accusations of high treason, and imprisons them in the Tower of London. Anything less is inexcusable.