Yahoo Sport 
Somebody make that man foreign secretary, and quick
SUPER GAZ
As the few of you who didn’t send Thursday’s edition straight to trash will remember, The Fiver has pinned its colours to the mast regarding the 2018 World Cup. We’d like to see Russia win, purely so we can witness the blood draining from Boris Johnson’s grid. Petty? Childish? Pathetic? Well, yeah, but you’ll have to sue us if you don’t like it. Having said all that, we’re slowly coming round to the idea of England doing quite well too. An honourable quarter-final exit, maybe, enough to earn the team a bittersweet parade at Luton airport when they get back home, thousands of cheering fans, brass band, ticker tape, warm lager, plastic bre@sts and belly, a fag on, the lot. Summertime, and the livin’ will be easy.
You could be forgiven for thinking that, in the light of our criticism of previous lax, entitled, sightseeing England regimes, we only want to see the team do well this time round solely to make Mr Roy look bad by comparison. But nothing could be further from the truth. It’s not just that. It’s also because Gareth Southgate seems like a decent chap. He’s been talking passionately and eloquently about the need for us all to stay vigilant in the fight against racism, while simultaneously trying to rebuild diplomatic bridges recently demolished by a flatulent blowhard who doesn’t have to spend his summer working in Russia and dealing with their media. “We keep pointing the finger at Russia, where we are going to be guests in the next couple of months, but we haven’t resolved the issue in our own country and until we do I think we should stop firing those things off elsewhere.” Somebody make that man foreign secretary, and quick.
Southgate does of course have to preside over an England international on Friday, as his lads take on the Netherlands. It promises to be quite the test, as the home side have a new manager in Ronald Koeman and a new captain in Virgil van Dijk, and have won eight of their last nine games. England by comparison were hoping to build their team around the talents of Jack Wilshere, but he’s picked up his fortnightly case of knack. So it could be a busy night for Jordan Pickford, who is currently in pole position to become England’s No 1 at the World Cup, leading a race also contested by Jack Butland, Nick Pope and, for some reason, Joe Hart. The Fiver wishes him well, along with good old Gareth and everyone else involved with England. You can count on our support. Right up until your quarter-final with Russia, anyway.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I’ve been playing golf once a week, doing my garden, three classes of pilates, working on radio, being an ambassador at West Ham and helping the Premier League with the referee assessments. I’ve had such an easy, stress-free, nice quality of life … I have enjoyed it but now it’s back into the madhouse” – returning Barnet boss Martin Allen gets his chat on with Nick Miller.
THE FIVEЯ
Yes, it’s our not-singing, not-dancing World Cup Fiver. Out every Thursday lunchtime BST, here’s the first edition.
SUPPORT THE GUARDIAN
Producing the Guardian’s thoughtful, in-depth journalism – the stuff not normally found in this email, obviously – is expensive, but supporting us isn’t. If you value our journalism, please support us by making a one-off or recurring contribution.
FIVER LETTER
“Given the outpouring of grief and gnashing of teeth that greeted England’s Euro 2016 loss to a country with a population roughly equivalent to Coventry, England’s ninth largest city, can the Chinese national team now expect worse from their fans and media after they were hammered at home by a team representing a nation with approximately the same population as Ürümqi, China’s 38th largest city?” – Tim Grey.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Tim Grey. And we’ve a few books to shift so IT’S PRIZE TIME AGAIN FROM MONDAY!
THE RECAP
Get the best of Big Website’s coverage sent direct to your inbox every Friday lunchtime (GMT). Has the added bonus of being on time. Sign up here.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Dutch police have confirmed that 25 brave, brave England fans have been detained for throwing beer bottles at police in Amsterdam.
So very brave.
Reading’s new manager is Paul Clement. “The immediate aim is to secure the club in the Championship – eight games to go,” he tooted. “But beyond that I think there is a lot of ambition.”
Gianluigi Buffon isn’t having any nonsense from critics who reckon it’s time he packed international football in. “I can still be useful,” he sniffed. “I might be 40 but I’m the goalkeeper of Juventus. Italy is a funny country where people enjoy controversy but any controversy about me is just sensationalism. After a while all this controversy will just fall away.”
In Friday’s early international friendlies, Luis Suárez snaffled his 50th Uruguay goal in their 2-0 win over the Czech Republic, while Japan drew 1-1 with Mali.
And PR’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic has announced his LA Galaxy move by taking out a full-page ad in the local paper to declare: “Dear Los Angeles, you’re welcome.”
STILL WANT MORE?
A blast from the past: mid-90s nostalgia at the ready with this 2008 piece by Rob Smyth on England 4-1 Netherlands.
Manchester City may be strolling to the title but the Premier League is still more competitive than rivals. Jonathan Wilson sifts through the sneers, counter-sneers and counter-counter-sneers.
Clubs are increasingly focusing their recruitment efforts on 16-18-year-olds. Stephen Ganavas on the continent’s latest arms race.
England’s fringe players will get a chance to stake their Ethics World Cup claims in Amsterdam but, writes Daniel Taylor, it’s still hard to discern a shape or strategy.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
TO THE VALLEY!
