Take the Keith Stroud penalty exam to test your knowledge of the laws of football

It’s the new word of 2017: To ‘stroud’. It has a multitude of meanings but the main one is ‘to simultaneously upset a magpie while making a seagull laugh.’ It can also mean ‘to simultaneously infuriate a Benitez while pleasuring a Clough.’ But it’s over-riding definition is crystal clear – to get something horribly wrong.

Referee Keith Stroud’s decision to rule out Matt Ritchie’s penalty for Newcastle against Burton because Dwight Gayle had encroached was correct – the awarding of an indirect free-kick rather than a retake left 50,000 Toon fans scratching their heads in bemusement.

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There was no interpretation needed here – just knowledge of the laws of the game – and Keith strouded very badly. So badly, he had to apologise and now the Professional Game Match Officials Limited (PGMOL) have stepped in to try and smooth things over.

They said: ‘The Laws of the Game state that that the penalty kick should have been retaken.

‘Unfortunately the referee has misapplied the law. Keith and his team are understandably upset at the lapse in concentration and apologise for the mistake.’

Former Premier League referee Dermot Gallagher has also weighed in, adding: ‘Unfortunately Keith Stroud has lost a bit of concentration and misapplied the laws of the game. It’s an unfortunate error, one which he will be very upset about.

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‘I think the only thing that’s got to happen is speak to the referee and find out his mindset at the time of the incident.

“Now, it’s route, cause and remedy. Ask how are we going to make sure this doesn’t happen again – not just with Keith but with every other referee.’

As ‘unfortunate’ as it was, it was avoidable because, like Ritchie (who later scored the only goal of the game), Stroud is part of a team. If HE was unsure about what to do, he had two assistants and even a fourth official. If NONE of them knew the most basic application of Law 14, the FA should hang its head in shame.

‘Route, cause and remedy’… Dumb, dumber, dumbest.

When you play parks football you expect to see horrible things like two-yard misses, fat blokes in shirts three sizes too small, defenders with the pace of glaciers, long balls hoofed aimlessly, midfielders lighting up cigarettes and pitches that resemble a 1942 allotment after a bombing raid.

It’s all part of the experience for those of us who love playing the beautiful game and have to do so at a level commensurate with our abilities.

But among all this dross, the smell of last night’s beer and kebabs and prefab changing rooms with leaking roofs and freezing cold showers, one thing MUST be exemplary – the referee.

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The man in the middle has to control the game, armed only with the laws, a whistle and two cards, he/she has to display professionalism while all around is amateur on a Biblical scale.

Woe betide the match official who misses the subtle shirt pull on the blind side 50 yards away, seconds after the centre forward has spooned the ball over the crossbar from six inches out midgoal with the keeper 12 yards away.

The ref simply HAS to be brilliant no matter how awful the match is, up with play at all times even though most of the players gasp for breath with the energy they create by blinking and pour with sweat even when it’s freezing cold.

The ref simply HAS to get everything right. Fact. He/she MUST know every law, what to do in every eventuality, when to book/send off an offender, when to award an indirect/direct free kick, how to deal with the odd little situations that are thrown into your referee’s exam.

If the ref gets a key issue wrong in the first minute, he/she is rubbish in the eyes of every player and spectator. If the ref does not deal with a poor challenge with every letter of the law, he/she is doomed. Simple.

The centre forward who misses a gilt-edged chance could grab a hat-trick and the banter will flow like the fluids from the broken urinals afterw the match. The chaps love a laugh over a miss. That striker will be a hero in the same way the errant ref will not have a father, vision of any kind or testicles.

But the one thing every ref will pride him/herself on is that they will do their very best and interpret the laws properly.

And really decent ones constantly keep up with FIFA updates on those laws. They need to have everything at their fingertips to keep control as most players THINK they know the laws but don’t, the same they THINK they are Cristiano Ronaldo because they wear coloured Nike boots with ankle supports.

Players hate refs but need them for protection and to apply the laws.

Refs hate players but need them to show how they can apply those laws. It’s a symbiotic relationship…

But Mr Stroud and your team – you have let every referee at every level down and should be stripped of your whistles, flags and cards.

So do you think you know your stuff? See how you fare in the Law 14 penalty kick test…

(Assume there is no encroachment unless stated)

1. Player A runs to take a penalty, turns his back on the ball and backheels it past the keeper.
   DECISION?

2. Player A runs up to take a penalty, rolls the ball gently forward for player B to score.
   DECISION?

3. Player A runs up to take a penalty, backheels the ball to player B who scores.
   DECISION?

4. Player A scores a penalty but an opponent and team mate have both encroached.
   DECISION?

5. Player A’s penalty hits the post but the rebound is scored.
   DECISION?

6. Player A’s penalty is saved by the keeper but the rebound is scored. An attacker has encroached.
   DECISION?

7. Player A runs up to take a penalty, stops, leaves the area and player B runs up and scores.
   DECISION?

Answers

1. GOAL – you can backheel penalties.

2. GOAL – you do not have to score directly from a penalty.

3. NO GOAL – the ball MUST go forward at a penalty kick.

4. NO GOAL – retake the penalty.

5. NO GOAL – a player cannot touch the ball twice and an indirect free kick must be awarded to the defending team.

6. NO GOAL – if the ball does not enter the goal, the referee stops play and the match is restarted with an indirect free kick to the defending team from the place where the infringement occurred.

7. NO GOAL – you cannot change penalty kickers without the permission of the referee. Indirect free kick to the defending team.