Very Specific Football Question No.46: How far would Joey Barton go to publicise his book?

Joey Barton tells a story in his hard-hitting autobiography, No Nonsense, about the time his father, also named Joseph, intentionally ran over an Alsatian in his car – twice – after it bit his son in the face.

It died, unsurprisingly. Joseph Snr made sure of that by reversing back over the dog following the initial hit, displaying a determination to get the job done that he evidently passed down to his boy.

Joey Jnr has prided himself on being a man of action in his career – a rollercoaster of drama and controversy that is finally winding down in the hinterland of the Scottish Premiership.

And in promoting No Nonsense, published today, Barton has attacked the book’s marketing strategy with the same vigour his dad once applied to the execution of a reckless canine.

While most celebrities with something to plug just do a signing in Waterstones or sit on the This Morning sofa for five minutes, Barton has gone beyond the call of duty to make sure his magnum opus gets maximum exposure.

Timing the publication date to fall in the near aftermath of his first Old Firm derby was the first masterstroke.

He was probably wearing a T-shirt bearing the front cover under his Rangers top in case he scored at Parkhead. But that didn’t happen, so instead he adopted an “aggressive” pre-launch plan.

No one can confirm exactly what “inappropriate things” Joey said to his Gers’ team-mate Andy Halliday in the squad’s post-match debrief following the 5-1 defeat at Celtic Park, but it was explosive enough for the club to suspend him for three weeks.

As such, Barton managed to propel himself onto the back page of many newspapers that might otherwise have started to forget him.

It’s worth noting that Barton’s footballing powers have waned considerably since his pomp, whenever that was exactly.

Having failed to find Premier League employment since being relegated with Queens Park Rangers a couple of seasons ago, Barton is now a second-tier player aiming for a celebrity bestseller. Not an easy task.

That’s probably why he thought, in addition to his fight with Halliday, it might be prudent to also have an illegal flutter on Celtic’s Champions League match against Barcelona, just to kick up another controversy that ensured he stayed in the spotlight for a few more days leading to launch. The man is a publisher’s dream.

It’s perhaps meant to be ironic that the title of Barton’s book is ‘No Nonsense’ when he has spent much of his career getting involved in huge amounts of nonsense, whether it’s stubbing out his cigar in a team-mate’s eyeballs or having Twitter catfights with the cast of The Only Way is Essex.

But it’s little surprise that Joey is taking the launch so seriously, given his self-professed love of literature.

Orwell, Virgil, Nietzsche and Aristotle are among the great thinkers Barton has turned to on his long journey of self-improvement.

It is their inspirational words, frequently quoted by Barton on social media, that have helped transform him from the Huyton hell-raiser whose dad killed a dog on purpose to the respected intellectual he is today.

But is he?

As much as Barton insists that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks, his persistent need for airspace and attention indicate that the exact opposite is true. He is a man who demands to be listened to, but not just on Twitter.

This autobiography is the ultimate test of his scholarly credentials. His chance to emulate the pantheon of literary greats that have moulded him. The final chapter of his bid to join the intelligentsia.

In fact, with his football career all but over, this book might just be the only thing he has left. So it makes perfect sense that Barton is pulling out all the stops is publicise it.

Now that launch day has finally arrived, we will see if his bold strategy has worked. But if sales start slowly, don’t be surprised to see Joey to punch a poodle any day now.

Follow @darlingkevin on Twitter

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