A woman who is 14 weeks pregnant and studying for the National Board of Medical Examiners (NBME) test, is furious that her husband held her study material hostage when she didn’t have time to cook.
She took to Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum to see who was in the wrong. Her husband accused her of neglecting him, but the wife felt as though she was being stretched too thin.
“I study pediatrics and it’s been the hardest year of medical school, it’s physically and mentally exhausting, I began working at an outpatient clinic from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. I’m currently studying for NBME,” she wrote. “I’m 14 weeks pregnant and it’s incredibly exhausting studying hard for the upcoming exam and I can barely find the time between the clinic, studying and self-care.”
She has been studying as much as she possibly can with her other responsibilities in mind.
“My husband has been getting a little demanding lately and I noticed that especially after I started preparing my exam,” she said. “I spend time studying in the bedroom, he’d come in and ask me to take some time to make him dinner. I’d make him dinner then go back to studying then after he finishes he’d knock on the door and ask me to do the dishes. I’d get frustrated because he won’t do the dishes and knows that I have no time for washing the dishes and then he’d take a shower and leave the bathroom wet causing me to take time to clean it up. Then he’d tell me to go study elsewhere because he wanted to sleep. I study in the kitchen sometimes, in the living room when he’s sleeping, in the morning before I go to work I’d wait for him to wake up to make him coffee and then leave at 8:30 a.m. which is a bit late.”
When he came home at 10 p.m. one night and demanded she make him dinner, she refused.
“I told him there was leftovers in the fridge that he can eat, but he wanted me to cook, my exam was approaching and I needed every minute to be able to study as much as I can,” she wrote. “We started arguing, he said he got fed up with my treatment and took my book, said I’d get it back once I make him dinner. I was so angry with what he did, I demanded the book back and told him to stop acting so selfishly and ruin[ing] my career.”
Eventually, he gave her the book back but then gave her a piece of his mind.
“He said that I was treating him poorly and that I need to take care of him more and not ignore him like that. He demanded that I apologize for last night but I didn’t,” she explained. “Just to make things clear and tell his side of the situation, he says that I’m neglecting him lately and was upset that I don’t do the things I used to do before I started studying. […] He is in law enforcement he works long hours and isn’t always at home. The reason I do most of the chores is because I know how hard he works, but he should support me and do the same for me when I’m studying.”
Reddit believed the husband should step up his game.
“You are pregnant, in medical school and studying for an important exam. Your husband should make you dinner,” one user wrote.
“I would seriously reconsider a relationship with this person,” another said.
“There is something really wrong here,” someone added.
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