To celebrate the Oct. 22 Season 8 premiere of The Walking Dead — the series’ 100th episode — Yahoo TV will be posting a new TWD-related story every day through the season opener.
In other words, 17 times one of the apocalypse survivors did something so unbelievably boneheaded that you knew immediately it was going to lead to trouble … or worse. We know, we know, even the sharpest, most capable people would make bad decisions with the stress and danger of living in the new world, but still… So that they may never forget, and never repeat, their mistakes, we say to all of the Walking Dead characters on our list: You get a pie, and you get a pie, and you get a pie … right to the face.
The Walking Dead Season 8 premieres Oct. 22 at 9 p.m. on AMC.
Rick: Season 2, ‘What Lies Ahead’
When Sophia scooched into the woods to escape the highway walkers, Rick chased after her, then told her to hide and run back to the road if he didn’t return when he went off to lure the walkers away. Nice move, leaving the terrified little girl alone instead of shepherding her back to her mom, dude. Flash-forward six episodes: Sophia was still MIA … until she emerged from Hershel’s barn as a walker.
Carl: Season 2, ‘Judge, Jury, Executioner’
In a bored and bratty mood, Carl swiped Daryl’s gun and went off into the woods, where he found a walker stuck in mud. He threw rocks at it and got closer so he could shoot it, but when it got partially free and moved closer to him, he panicked, dropped the gun, and ran back to Hershel’s farm. Not only did he leave the walker alive (well, undead), but he also didn’t tell anyone about it … leaving it free to sneak up on Dale and kill him later in the episode.
Andrea: Season 3, ‘Hounded’
She’d already shot Daryl the previous season, but Andrea made her biggest mistake in Season 3, when she let her horndog instincts trump the gut instincts of pretty much everyone else and decided to jump into bed with the Governor. Seriously, Michonne, who had saved her life, knew the Gov was a big old baddie, but not Andrea, who would soon pay the ultimate price for her poor choice.
Beth: Season 5, ‘Coda’
We don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but c’mon… Beth was understandably angry at her Grady Hospital tormentor Dawn, but her big move for vengeance consisted of jabbing a relatively small pair of scissors into Dawn’s shoulder. Her shoulder! The act did nothing to really injure Dawn, but Dawn’s knee-jerk reaction was to fatally shoot Beth in the head. Bonus pies tossed at the other Gradyans, for letting Dawn run amuck in the first place.
Lori: Season 1, ‘Days Gone Bye’
Sure, Lori presumed that her husband was dead, and his best friend, Shane, had kept her and her son Carl alive, but, you know, a simple verbal thank-you would have been a sufficient show of gratitude. Instead, she slept with Shane, and then played him and (surprise, not dead!) Rick against each other, causing soapy drama, and getting preggers with Shane’s baby — whom Rick is now raising.
Glenn: Season 3, ‘Arrow on the Doorpost’
Rick, Daryl, and Hershel were off to broker peace with the Governor, but Merle — a former associate of the Governor who knew the Woodbury leader’s true nature and intentions — wanted the rest of Rick’s group back at the prison to launch a surprise attack on the Governor, taking him out before the meeting ever happened. Glenn said no, that they would stick with Rick’s plan, but had they followed Merle’s advice, Hershel wouldn’t have died via decapitation by the Governor.
Spencer: Season 7, ‘Hearts Still Beating’
Spencer’s biggest weakness was not knowing how weak he really was, which was only part of the reason that trying to go around the Ricktatorship with Negan was such a bad idea. Spencer’s arrogance also kept him from seeing that Negan not only didn’t respect him but also didn’t trust anyone who would try to go around Rick. In the end, our pie to the face is actually moot, because Spencer already got Negan’s hunting knife to the gut.
Rosita: Season 7, ‘Hearts Still Beating’
Of course she was angry about Spencer’s brutal death, but Rosita’s emotional reaction messed with her usual good aim, and when she took a shot at Negan, she hit only Lucille. Negan not only ordered his minion, Arat, to kill an innocent person in retaliation for Rosita’s botched retaliation — RIP, Olivia — but took Eugene hostage after learning that the mulleted one had DIY-ed the bullet Rosita used to try to kill Negan.
Shane: Season 2, ‘Cherokee Rose’
Shane seemed to be the leader of the plot, so he’d get the pie, but in fairness, everyone involved was pie-to-the-face-worthy in this ill-fated attempt to pull a bloated walker out of a well on Hershel’s farm, lest he contaminate the water. While Bloaty was being hoisted out via the rope Glenn had slipped around him, he got stuck and was torn in half, spilling his innards into the well … i.e., serious contamination.
Abraham: Season 5, ‘Self Help’
After the death of his family, a distraught Abe was so desperate for a reason to carry on that he instantly believed Eugene’s claims about knowing of a cure for the walker outbreak, and he made it his sole mission in life to get Eugene to Washington, D.C., to save the world. And Abraham’s blind faith led everyone else to accept Mr. Porter’s claims without question too, leaving them all shocked when Eugene confessed the harsh truth.
Rick and Daryl: Season 6, ‘The Next World’
While on their Butch and Sundance-y adventure with Jesus, Rick and Daryl managed to lose control of a giant truckload of supplies they’d found. They could do nothing more than watch as the truck — knocked into gear during Daryl’s tussle with Jesus — rolled into a lake, leaving food, and the toothpaste Michonne was jonesin’ for, to sink to the bottom.
Rick’s Group: Season 4, ‘A’
They had just come off the war with the Governor, the charmer who turned out to be a huge, psycho creep, and the showdown with the Claimers, who’d forced Rick to bite out a dude’s jugular to keep his son, his friends, and himself alive. Yet Rick and company still allowed themselves to trust that the Terminus crew and their signs promising sanctuary were sincere. Thank goodness for Carol and, as Negan would later say about Sasha, her “beach-ball-sized lady nuts.”
Glenn: Season 5, ‘Conquer’
We will always miss him so. But sometimes Glenn was just too damned nice and trusting, and here’s an instance where that almost led to his death. The cowardly Nicholas had shot him and left him alone to fend off walkers in “Conquer,” but when Glenn allowed him to live after that, Nicholas went on to kill himself in “Thank You,” leaving Glenn alone again to fend off the Dumpster walkers, and leaving fans worried for weeks that Glenn was dead.
Daryl: Season 7, ‘The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be’
OK, no rioting … we’re not saying it’s Daryl’s fault that Glenn is dead. Glenn is dead because Negan is a murderer. But, Negan had warned Rick’s group not to retaliate after he killed Abe, and Daryl chose to attack Negan anyway. His anger and outrage was understandable, and maybe Negan would have killed a second person even if Daryl had kept his temper in check. But we’ll never really know…
Denise: Season 6, ‘Twice as Far’
Denise was trying to be brave and trying to secure a special treat for girlfriend Tara, but stopping to open a car with a walker inside just because there was a chance that a cooler inside the car would contain orange soda? Denise, Denise, Denise … there’s bravery and thoughtfulness, and then there’s stupidity. And considering that her pit stop was followed shortly by Dwight shooting an arrow through her eye … well, you see which side this falls on.
Morgan: Season 3, ‘Clear’
Morgan’s meltdown state when Rick reunited with him in “Clear” was courtesy of one whopper of a mistake that Morgan made: His wife had become zombified early in the apocalypse, but Morgan couldn’t bear to put his walker wife down. That left her free to bite, and kill, his son Duane. The bad call and loss of Duane drove Morgan to commit to killing anything in his path, until he met peaceful pal Eastman.
Coral Again! Season 7, ‘Sing Me a Song’
Oh, kids. Brash Carl thought he could slip into the Sanctuary and take out Negan, ridding his people of the tyrannical baddie and getting revenge for Glenn’s and Abe’s deaths. Wrong. Negan caught him, humiliated him with questions about his eye and his mom, and made him watch Mark, a Savior who’d crossed Negan, get his face burned with a hot iron. So … no more solo missions, hmmm, Coral?