Yahoo Sport 
What absolutely will happen in the Premier League this weekend
It was a reasonable showing for this column last weekend, thanks in part to West Brom v Crystal Palace providing the most predictable goalless draw of all time. Elsewhere, Manchester United made lighter work than expected of Arsenal, and we foolishly underestimated the final-third problem-solving of Liverpool and Chelsea. Then again, we also nailed Everton’s desperately-needed 2-0 win over Huddersfield.
This weekend begins with a fun-looking early afternoon at the London Stadium, and then ends with a bang: a Super Mega Double Derby Sunday. Let’s get stuck in to the inevitable…
READ MORE: Gossip – Everton want Aubameyang
READ MORE: Premier League TV deals overhauled
READ MORE: How the Blue Moon could complete its rise early
West Ham v Chelsea
Put your mortgage on…
Joe Hart doing his fronting up from the bench. Adrian has perhaps been one of the more unfortunate second-choice Premier League goalkeepers, and his solid showing against Manchester City – for which Hart was ineligible – appears to have been enough to reclaim his place for the foreseeable.
The match, according to Ceefax…
Retro indulgence
September 11th, 1995: John Spencer scores twice for Chelsea on his birthday, and Julian Dicks gives him the present of eight stitches in a head wound.
Burnley v Watford
Put your mortgage on…
A decent spectacle from the Best of the Rest in the Sean Dyche Derby. A raft of injuries has affected both these sides, who sit just below the established big six, but Watford are usually good value at either end of the pitch. In any case, they’ll both still be peering through the Premier League’s glass ceiling at the end of it.
The match, according to Ceefax…
Retro indulgence
March 2003: A Stephen Glass free kick puts Watford into the FA Cup semi-finals at Burnley’s expense. If that wasn’t enough, Watford went up to Turf Moor a month later and won again: 7-4!
Crystal Palace v Bournemouth
Put your mortgage on…
Ruben Loftus-Cheek. The on-loan Chelsea midfielder is starting to take games by the scruff of the neck, just as his parent club hoped he would, as Palace’s fortunes slowly turn. A late run into England’s World Cup squad isn’t beyond him…
The match, according to Ceefax…
Most likely headline in the morning paper
RUBEN’S LOFTY AMBITIONS SHOW CHERRIES SOME CHEEK
Huddersfield v Brighton
Put your mortgage on…
Kasey Palmer coming in to try and kick-start Huddersfield. David Wagner’s side are on the slide – conceding 13 goals in their run of four straight defeats – and need a spark. Palmer (yet another on-loan Chelsea midfielder) hasn’t started since August because of injury, so should be raring to go in the no.10 role.
The match, according to Ceefax…
Retro indulgence
Both of these clubs have come a long way since then, but we’ll head back to 2009 when Huddersfield – including a young “Daniel Drinkwater” – handed Brighton a 7-1 tonking.
Swansea v West Brom
Put your mortgage on…
A dire 90 minutes all round. These two have mustered just 20 goals between them in 30 Premier League matches so far – that’s five less than Watford – and, with a relegations scrap beginning to take shape, safety will come first.
The match, according to Ceefax…
Retro indulgence
These two play out a rollicking playoff semi-final first leg back in 1993, which is worth watching to the end just for the comedy own goal that kept the Baggies in the tie…
Tottenham v Stoke
Put your mortgage on…
A Wembley statement from Spurs. Their title hopes may be over, but – with Champions League football not returning until February – Pochettino’s side can start to focus on their stuttering domestic form. Stoke don’t pose a huge threat on the road, so this could be a timely reminder of what Tottenham are about.
The match, according to Ceefax…
Most likely headline in the morning paper
FRAGILE POTTERS SMASHED
Newcastle v Leicester
Put your mortgage on…
Leicester to smash and grab like the (not so) old days. Claude Puel has – very quietly – got his big names firing since his appointment, including the restoration of the newly-blonde Riyad Mahrez. It may just be an attempt to put himself in the shop window but, for now, Mahrez’s form is to the Foxes’ benefit.
The match, according to Ceefax…
Retro indulgence
Only one candidate here: Newcastle’s reliably unreliable 1997 side go 3-1 down at home to Emile Heskey and Leicester…before Alan Shearer takes over.
Southampton v Arsenal
Put your mortgage on…
Arsenal to cruise under the Sunday radar. Two massive derbies will dominate the headlines, but expect Arsene Wenger’s men to bounce back from last weekend’s frustrations by living up to their Expected Goals this time round.
The match, according to Ceefax…
Retro indulgence
May, 2001: Going into the last moments of the final game at The Dell, level at 2-2 with Arsenal, Southampton call upon the perfect man for the occasion….
Liverpool v Everton
Put your mortgage on…
No hint of a Merseyside power shift: Everton haven’t won in the last 14 derbies and have beaten Liverpool just twice in the last 24. On the evidence of the last seven days, Jurgen Klopp’s rampant forward line won’t be showing them any mercy.
The match, according to Championship Manager ’93/94…
Retro indulgence
Everton’s last win at Anfield came all the way back in 1999, when Kevin Campbell’s winner is buried under the more memorable spectacle of Francis Jeffers vs Sander Westerveld…
Manchester United v Manchester City
Put your mortgage on…
A barnstorming game, two or three superb goals, a match-deciding performance from one of the big guns…and then some elite-class bitching from the managers afterwards. Jose Mourinho might do his finest mind-game work before games, but Guardiola tends to let loose afterwards. The chances of there being some explosive talking points from this one are very high.
The match, according to Championship Manager ’93/94…
Retro indulgence
In the interests of fairness, balance and impartiality, here are two Manchester Derby thrashings dished out by and to City and United.
First, “the 5-1” – as City fans still refer to it – back in 1989…
…avenged in style five years later by a Andrei Kanchelskis hat-trick and a 5-0 battering from United at Old Trafford.
