Robert Lewandowski reportedly had the choice of a few clubs he could have joined from Bayern Munich this summer, with Real Madrid and Arsenal among them.
So anyway, he didn’t pick Arsenal.
This surprising news is delivered by the Mirror – via Spanish paper Mundo Deportivo – which claims that the Polish goal machine has agreed a deal to move to the Bernabeu at the end of the season.
The Spanish giants apparently needed “just two meetings” to convince Lewy to join them, one of which involved Florentino Perez inviting him to take a dip in a hot tub filled with 50 euro notes. Probably.
Madrid are said to have offered the 29-year-old a two-year contract, with an option for a third year, after it became clear that Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy would not budge on his refusal to sell them Harry Kane.
Lewandowski would seem to be an ready-made replacement for current Real centre-forward Karim Benzema, who the last we heard was being linked with a move to West Ham. No, really.
Man Utd target Varane
As well as the Gunners, Lewandowski also allegedly turned down interest from Chelsea, Paris Saint-Germain and Manchester United.
But undeterred by this snub, the Red Devils will simply try to buy one of Real Madrid’s players instead. Which, to be fair, is what they try to do most weeks.
On this occasion their Bernabeu-based target is Raphael Varane, who Jose Mourinho is always trying to sign and almost certainly has posters of on his wall.
Interestingly, the claim of United’s interest is made by the player himself, who the Sun says has “confessed” that Mourinho wants him.
Less interestingly, what he actually said – when asked by a Spanish TV channel about contact from the Special One – was, “No, not directly. There were contacts, but not directly.”
So, basically, no. But yes. But no. He should get a part in Little Britain.
You get the feeling that Wolverhampton Wanderers might become regular attenders in the Gossip column in the coming months, and the Mirror is getting us warmed up by linking the Championship leaders with an audacious swoop for Andre Silva.
The Portuguese (obviously) striker has struggled since his £34m move from Porto to AC Milan last summer, but no doubt Jorge Mendes could cheer him up with the chance to move to the Premier League and own the Black Country’s most luxurious house.
Arsenal are also interested in Silva, so Wolves shouldn’t have too much competition.
Elsewhere, Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois has given his “biggest hint yet” that he will stay at Stamford Bridge beyond this summer (Standard), Borussia Dortmund are interested in West Ham’s midfield “whizkid” Domingos Quina (Sun) and Sunderland manager Chris Coleman says he will stay at the Stadium of Light even if the Black Cats get relegated from the Championship – as long as the owners still want him (Sunderland Echo). He’s so nice isn’t he, Chris?