Even James Rodriguez is getting bored with all the transfer speculation about James Rodriguez now. As flattering as it presumably is to be linked with Europe’s biggest clubs on a daily basis for an entire year, there comes a time where you do need to actually sign for one of those clubs. And that time, according to the man himself, is now.

The Mail says the Colombian midfielder has told Real Madrid he wants his future “sorted” within the next 48 hours. In other words, before the Real squad travel to the USA for a pre-season tour tomorrow.

James is apparently “not planning on joining” his team-mates stateside, but that doesn’t give him very long to find a new club in the meantime. If anyone can seal him a move by Tuesday lunchtime though, it’s his (SUPER) agent Jorge Mendes.

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The smooth-talking Portuguese has responded to James’ request by “offering” the playmaker to Manchester United, Liverpool, Manchester City and Juventus, says the Express.

The alleged problem is that none of those sides are willing to pay Real’s £66m asking price. Not even United, who are said to be “deep in talks” about bringing the 25-year-old to Old Trafford.

If all else fails, there’s always Paris Saint-Germain, who hang around on the fringes of every multi-million pound transfer waiting for the scraps. The Star says the ace up PSG’s sleeve could be their Brazilian defender Marquinhos, who Real president Florentino Perez is reportedly keen to swap for Rodriguez.

Then again, the Star says on a separate page that Perez would prefer to sell James to Chelsea, so maybe we should ignore everything they’ve said (for the past 25 years).

£45m Arsenal bid

We should, but we can’t! Because they say stuff that sounds interesting even though it’s almost certainly made up. Such as that Chelsea are targeting Celtic striker Moussa Dembele as an alternative to Romelu Lukaku.

Arsenal are still busy trying to sign Thomas Lemar from Monaco, with the Mirror claiming the Gunners are set to make a third bid of £45m for the 21-year-old after having offers of £30m and £40m rejected.

Meanwhile, once-maligned Gunners goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny is “one step closer” to sealing a move to Juventus after being left home for Arsenal’s pre-season tour to Australia (Sun). Hot Football Transfer Gossip wishes he’d just hurry up and leave so we don’t have to type out his name again.

Elsewhere, AC Milan are the latest team linked with a big-money swoop for Borussia Dortmund’s £70m-rated striker Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (Metro), West Ham are closing in on the £8.5m signing of 26-year-old Senegalese midfielder Badou N’Diaye from Turkish club Osmanlispor (Mirror) and Burnley want to add midfielder Glenn Whelan to their recent acquisition of forward Jon Walters (Sun). Clarets boss Sean Dyche is determined to find players he knows can do it on a wet Tuesday night at Stoke.