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Premier League: hot or not?

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The sexy and the unsexy in football this week…

HOT

Japan
It must have been an strange first week as a Premier League player for Japanese striker Shinji Okasaki, who joined Leicester City in June. First his strike partner Jamie Vardy got caught making nasty remarks about Japanese people, then the UK news was filled with stories about something called Victory over Japan Day. But none of this seemed to be playing on Okasaki’s mind as he capped a match-winning performance against West Ham with his first Leicester goal to send the Foxes top of the league.

Wingers
The death of 4-4-2 was a worrying time for wingers, but there were a few natural wide boys flourishing in 4-3-3 formations this weekend. Nathan Redmond scored for Norwich and Raheem Sterling impressed for Man City, but the pick of the bunch was Swansea’s Jefferson Montero, whose trickery prompted so many fouls from bamboozled right-back Daryl Janmaat that the Dutchman was eventually sent off.

Yellow cards
Spunky young Newcastle striker Aleksandar Mitrovic already looks like a star in the making. Not because he’s been scoring goals, or even getting assists. Instead he’s caught the eye with his unerring skill for getting booked. The Serbian has received yellow cards for wild tackles within moments of entering the field in both his substitute appearances so far. And somehow he’s managed to look cool - rather than supremely idiotic - doing it.

NOT

Hair transplants
There was never better publicity for follicle surgery than when England’s best footballer, Wayne Rooney, overcame baldness with an expensive hair transplant in 2011. Unfortunately for the hair transplanting industry, Rooney is currently looking like England’s worst footballer. Not only does this make having a Rooney-style head seem less appealing to impressionable bald men, but it has also left Manchester United’s strike force looking weaker than at any time in recent memory.

Dicks
Dicks were all the rage a few weeks ago when Sunderland’s retirement-dodging boss Dick Advocaat set about assembling a crack squad on Wearside, while West Ham legend Julian Dicks made a triumphant return to Upton Park by helping to mastermind a win against a team from Andorra. This weekend, both Dicks could only look on limply from the dugout as their impotent strike forces failed to trouble the defences of Norwich and Leicester respectively.

Harry Kane
The Chingford Assassin, as Harry Kane is never known, was so hot last season that you couldn’t even touch him without him scoring a goal. But it appears the striker may finally be cooling down. Two goalless displays in Tottenham’s opening two matches prompted Mauricio Pochettino to comment that the 22-year-old is “tired”, which is understandable given that Kane carried the rest of Tottenham’s players for most of last season. But with reliable striking alternatives in short supply at White Hart Lane, Pochettino can ill afford for Kane to doze off just yet.

@darlingkevin

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Hot or not: week 1