Very Specific Football Question No.55: Has Wes Morgan changed football sponsorship forever?

As marketing stunts go, Captain Morgan have played it about as perfectly as their poster boy Wes did during Leicester City’s title-winning campaign.

Having already capitalised on the Foxes captain’s new-found fame by plastering his face onto their bottles of rum last May, the drinks manufacturer has gone one better by inserting some wacky clauses into his latest contract.

And just in case anyone missed the wackiness, they gave Wes some extra dosh to post a tweet about it.

The clauses stipulated that the 32-year-old is entitled to get rum and cokes for everyone whenever he is in the pub, and that he is obliged to “extend his arms to form the shape of a “Y” and shout, ‘There’s only one Captain Morgan!’” as he does so.

This resulted in various publications (including this one) talking about Captain Morgan while completely ignoring the brand’s rum–producing competitors such as Sailor Jerry, Bacardi, Havana Club and Malibu (except this one).

The campaign has been so effective that it is already destined to appear in the PowerPoint presentations of marketing gurus for months on end, revolutionising the football sponsorship landscape forever.

Never again will it be enough to merely get a famous face to appear on your poster. Already, publicity-hungry brands across the country will be sniffing around footballers and trying to come up with zanier ways to attach themselves to their name.

So in a desperate bid to claim artistic ownership of these cynical gimmicks before anyone else does, here are five football-related advertising campaigns that are almost certain to exist soon.

Thomas Muller – Yoghurt
This one is so obvious that German dairy giants Muller will be kicking themselves that they didn’t already come up with it, given the huge possibilities of collaboration with the Bayern Munich star.
The marketing twist: Whenever Bayern concede a corner, Thomas Muller whips out a Muller Corner dessert and begins to eat, thereby distracting opponents and interfering with their attacking momentum.

Ben Foster – Lager
This one is also pretty simple. It’s West Brom goalkeeper Ben Foster advertising Fosters, because his name is Ben Foster. Genius!
The marketing twist: Foster eschews Lucozade Sport on the touchline and instead takes rejuvenating sips of lager whenever there is a break in play. He eventually becomes reliant on the drink and keeps a can of Fosters in his goalmouth at all times.

Felix Magath – Cat food
The German manager won few friends during his short spell at Fulham, but if there’s one thing that can get the bespectacled tactician back onside with the English public, it’s cats.
The marketing twist: Series of adverts containing a narrative thread in which Magath force feeds his players Felix cat food, resulting in their increased agility on the pitch and subsequent Champions League success.

Javier Hernandez – Supermarkets
The Little Pea becomes the ‘Lidl Pea’ as he lends his face to the budget supermarket.
The marketing twist: Hernandez, with the words ‘Lidl Pea’ across the back of his shirt, travels around Lidl stores in the north of England promoting a 20% discount on frozen petit pois.

Taribo West – sweets
Where on earth is Taribo West? No idea, but if Haribo can track down the former Derby defender they could make millions.
The marketing twist: Taribo West, who changes his name by deed poll to Haribo West, visits schools handing out free fizzy sweets to children which eventually rot their teeth, forcing him into to go into hiding (again).

Any other ideas?

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READ MORE VSFQs

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