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Very Specific Football Question No.59: Is the footballer's mullet making a sensational comeback?

mullet
mullet

It was a weekend when Chelsea proved they could cope without Diego Costa, Tottenham underlined their title credentials, Pep Guardiola suffered his biggest ever league defeat and Zlatan Ibrahimovic rescued Manchester United in a clash of the north-west titans.

But beyond the results and statistics, there were signs of a far more significant trend developing across the Premier League. The tentative rumblings of a wind of change that could affect the look and feel of the world’s richest league for years to come. A phenomenon with the power to transcend every club in the land. Less of a tactical shift, more a way of life. We’re talking about the return of the mullet.

Any English football fan can recall the glorious heyday of this once-mighty hairdo. Chris Waddle blazing one over the bar, Glenn Hoddle reaching no.12 in the charts, Barry Venison giving it large in centre mid.

All these men are now sadly dead, while the footballer’s mullet itself has become an endangered species. Only one is known to have survived the cull of the new millennium and is currently eking out a miserable existence atop the head and shoulders of Gerry Francis.

But a quiet revolution is taking place.

The sight of 18-year-old Tom Davies rampaging through the Everton midfield in the Toffees’ glorious 4-0 victory against Manchester City – a trail of straggly blonde locks flowing behind him – felt like a throwback to simpler times, where a young man with an atrocious mop could make his first steps in the game without fear of ridicule.

For too long, Premier League youngsters have prioritised grooming over training. A generation of slick-haired robots have looked the part but failed to deliver on the pitch and left English football at one of its lowest ebbs.

But in Davies, who capped his display with a sublime goal, here was a courageous buck who was not afraid to look like a scruffy greasebag from 1991 in front of the TV cameras.

You may say he’s a dreamer, but he’s not the only one.

Over in Burnley, Joey Barton entered the fray against Southampton as a 73rd-minute substitute boasting a set of outrageous curtains inspired by early-season Chandler from Friends. Not quite a mullet, but tantalisingly close. He duly fired home the match-winning free-kick, his mane swirling like fire as he celebrated.

Barton joined a Clarets engine room already manned by George Boyd and Jeff Hendrick, fearless purveyors of the long-at-the-back look. It is this midfield trio – Sean Dyche’s hairy trinity – that will form the bedrock of Burnley’s survival bid.

And these are not your bog-standard foreign mullets, which have never really gone away and remain popular in many southern European nations, but good, honest, mud-strewn British (and Irish) mullets.

Then there’s Andy Carroll.

The West Ham striker has remained loyal to his ponytail, which he likes to let down into a voluptuous mullet during his leisure time, throughout a frustrating period in east London. He persisted even when others mocked him, whether for his injury record or his haircut.

Finally, that perseverance seems to be paying off.

Carroll’s spectacular overhead kick for West Ham against Crystal Palace marked his return as a football force, while the shift towards longer locks has belatedly justified his decision to have silly hair for all these years.

By definition, the mullet revolution cannot happen overnight. It will take time – at least three months in the case of many short-haired footballers – but the green shoots of progress are impossible to ignore.

It could in fact be argued that three of season’s most memorable goals – Carroll’s scissor-kick, Davies’ solo effort, Hendrick’s wonderstrike v Bournemouth last month – have been scored by mulleted men.

For now the mullet remains a niche look in English football circles, but recent events could tip it into the mainstream. By the time the 2018 World Cup comes around, it’s feasible that others – Harry Kane, Eric Dier, John Stones, even Raheem Sterling – could embrace a shaggier look.

Thanks to a few brave trailblazers, the mullet is once again gaining acceptance – the first step on the path to domination.

Follow @darlingkevin on Twitter

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