Hey Fox News: The gold Trump sneakers are ugly. And they won't sway the Black vote.

In February for Black History Month, USA TODAY Sports is publishing the series "29 Black Stories in 29 Days." We examine the issues, challenges and opportunities Black athletes and sports officials continue to face after the nation’s reckoning on race following the murder of George Floyd in 2020. This is the fourth installment of the series.

I don't speak for Black America™️ and suspect the list of candidates that potentially could is short. Barack Obama? Oprah? My mom? That's about it. However, I feel highly comfortable speaking for Black America™️ when I say this.

Large numbers of Black Americans are not going to suddenly support Donald Trump because of his new sneakers.

Now, you read that sentence and thought: yeah, Mike, no kidding. Why would you even bring this up, dummy? Wellllll...I didn't, but a Fox News contributor did, and his remarks are so gloriously, remarkably, unbelievably, staggeringly dumb that I thought it was a joke. But nope. He meant it. He actually meant it.

"I was on social media last night," the contributor said. The second those words came out of his mouth, it was clear things were going awry.

"Very interesting. As you see Black support eroding from Joe Biden," he said. "This is (the shoes) connecting with Black America. Because they're into sneakers. They love sneakers. This is a big deal. Certainly in the inner city."

Well certainly in the inner city, yes sir. Because those inner city Black folks love them sneakers. The suburban Black folks? Not so much. Us suburban Black people love loafers. However, when us suburban folks venture into the city, we do change into our sneakers, so maybe he has a point.

Also, does anyone have a phone number for the Congressman to the Inner City? I want to fact check all of this.

"So when you have Trump roll out his sneaker line," he continued, "they're like, 'Wait a minute. This is cool."

Who is "they" exactly? I don't think many people in Black America™️ looked at those gold monstrosities and said "this is cool." Plus, people in the Inner City don't say "cool." They say "fly." Wait, that's from the 80s. They say smokin'. Wait, that's from the 90s. They say on fleek. Wait, that's the 2000s. I'll get back to you on this. Gotta check with some Inner City sources.

"He's reaching them on a level that defies and is above politics," he said.

Who is "them" exactly. This has strong "you people" vibes.

"The culture always trumps politics," he said, "and Trump understands culture like no other politician I've ever seen."

Hold on. Trump is the culture now? Which culture? Like, the Aryan one?

This wildly racist, and just plain odd stance, that Black people are so dumb, and so easily swayed, that large swaths of Black voters would back Trump simply because he rolled out the worst shoes ever invented, reminds me of when right-wing politicians and analysts said after Trump was booked in Georgia for one of his googolplex of criminal cases that Trump's mugshot would make him more popular with Black Americans. The reasoning for that is...because Black people identify with criminals more? I guess? Though I have to say The Wire is an excellent show.

In the last Presidential election, AP VoteCast reported that eight percent of Black Americans voted for Trump. There are the usual stories appearing now about increasing numbers of Black men wanting to support Trump but if anyone believes that a bunch of Black people are going to back Trump because of shoes, you must really think incredibly low of us. Just like Trump does.

The reason right-wing people tell these stories about us, these lies, really, is because they see Black Americans in one dimension. In some cases, if not many, yes, it is just plain racism. But in others, it is just profound ignorance.

In this case, the caricature is more goofy than sinister but make no mistake, breaking down a race to such simplistic terms is always dangerous, in fact, this type of racial deconstruction is among the most dangerous of all. Because from caricatures come far worse things like scapegoating and beyond.

Sneakers are a big part of sports culture and like other groups of people, there are Black Americans that like sports, so there's going to be a certain level of sneakerheads in my community.

But one of the big things this Fox News host misses is that sneaker infatuations are part of numerous communities. Lots of different people are sneakerheads.

So, no, I don't speak for Black America™️ in any way but if these horrible shoes sway millions of Black voters, I will buy a pair, and go visit my people in the Inner City.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Donald Trump's gold sneakers won't sway the Black vote, obviously