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Ivan Toney, imagined scenarios and a history of interesting comments
A RETURN WITH A STING?
The first thing to say about Ivan Toney is that he is very good at football. If it wasn’t for some bloke called Harry Kane, there’s a fair chance he would be Gareth Southgate’s No 1 striker, and with what one could imagine as a very fruitful (albeit disrupted) qualification campaign behind him – during which, in this imagined scenario, Toney struck up a chemistry with Bukayo Saka that made Mikel Arteta and every Arsenal fan go weak at the knees – one could imagine the forward spearheading England’s charge towards this summer’s Euros. The reality is not much more farfetched. Despite playing for a bus stop in Hounslow, Toney scored more Premier League goals last season than Mohamed Salah, with only Erling Haaland and Kane topping him. And he has risen to be among this company via Northampton, Newcastle, then Barnsley, Shrewsbury, Firewall FC, Wigan, Firewall FC (again), Peterborough and finally Brentford. Not traditionally a well-trodden path to the top.
The second thing to say about Ivan Toney is that he has been diagnosed as a gambling addict. He is both a perpetrator and a victim, having amassed 232 gambling breaches (including 13 occasions when he backed his own club to lose) that led to his recent eight-month ban from the game. But gambling has an oppressive hold over football, its players, clubs and fans, and Toney has been exposed to the incessant advertising encouraging people to part with their money. Take his club Brentford: currently sponsored by Hollywood Bets, the Bees will be delighted to have him back in action, with Toney expected to make his league return this Saturday against relegation rivals Nottingham Forest.
The third thing to say about Ivan Toney is that he has a history of making some … interesting statements. There was the infamous “Eff Brentford”, an unprovoked comment on the club that pays his wages. In a separate incident, when asked where he played football, Toney responded “nowhere exciting”. Stick that one on a billboard over the Chiswick Flyover. The week of Toney’s return should have been a triumphant one for the Bees, akin to their rather dramatic social media post about “the return” of their king. Maybe it could have been a grateful tribute to Brentford, about how they stuck with him through a tough time. Perhaps it could just have centred on Toney kicking the habit, which is more important than any football-related matters. If only. While Toney did express his thanks to Brentford, these did not prove to be the headlines.
“It’s obvious I’d like to play for a top club, everybody wants to play for the top clubs, fighting for titles and these kinds of things,” he roared. “So whether it’s this January for a club to come in and pay the right money, who knows? But my main focus is doing what I do on the pitch and let the background work take care of itself.” Oh, Ivan! Less Return of the King, more Lord of the Spin. The latest comments have certainly left a sour taste for many fans. Toney may well get his big-money move. Perhaps the 27-year-old will fail to rediscover his touch and end up back at a lower club. Let’s hope not. But as Kurupt FM have shown, anything can happen in Brentford. One minute you’re selling peanut dust, the next you’re on a pre-season tour of Japan.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I absolutely understand it. I had to think very carefully about it and I appreciate it’s a long way to come and we appreciate their support. I’d have been disappointed to see Eze come off because he’s one of our best players, but I’d also have been disappointed if he’d got injured in the last 30 minutes and wasn’t able to play against Arsenal” – Crystal Palace manager Roy Hodgson addresses the ire and boos from hardy Eagles fans who trekked up to Merseyside for their FA Cup replay at Everton, only to lose 1-0 with a whimper.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: David Moyes (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). I think I’ve got this VAR stuff sussed. If you lose and don’t have VAR, it’s because you don’t have VAR. If you lose and you do have VAR, it’s because you have VAR. Is it just possible you lose because the other team scored more goals?” – Roger Noble.
Excellent work by Rob Hamilton and his tracking of the quickest fouling, least fouling, and least fouled teams in the Premier League (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). As a Leeds fan, it’s pleasing to see that we are still up there with the big boys (Brighton) despite the best efforts of Big Sam and co, along with our temporary lowly status. As for Manchester United, I should point out that teams are probably not bothering to waste energy (and potential cards/suspensions) fouling them as they all know that at any moment one will likely self-destruct” – Jeremy Boyce.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Roger Noble, who lands a copy of The Africa Cup of Nations: The History of an Underappreciated Tournament, published by Pitch Publishing. Visit their football book store here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Football Weekly Extra is here, featuring the FA Cup replays, a weekend preview and a chat about the ongoing plight of Reading.
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