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The ongoing adventures of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo

barry glendenning
·7-min read
<span>Whatever happened to these guys?</span><span>Composite: Shutterstock</span>
Whatever happened to these guys?Composite: Shutterstock

HIGHS AND LOWS

While last week’s win by 10-man Bolivia over Colombia in an Air Miles World Cup qualifier might have raised a few eyebrows, it shouldn’t really have come as much of surprise. Not content with the controversial advantage playing home games at high altitude in La Paz used to give them, the Bolivians have recently and quite literally cranked things up several notches. Moving another 560m uphill, they played their last two home games more than four kilometres above sea level at the Estadio Municipal de El Alto, where the air is so thin visiting teams might as well be trying to play in outer space. Sadly for La Verde, they also have to descend the Andes to play away from home and in this week’s qualifier against the World Cup holders, they came seriously unstuck.

Having spent most of his career being compared with Cristiano Ronaldo, it may have come to Lionel Messi’s attention that his preening Portuguese nemesis marked the end of his participation in the current international break by throwing a comically petulant strop at the end of his side’s scoreless draw with Scotland, yet another game in which he was bizarrely indulged by his manager Roberto Martínez, despite his increasingly negligible contributions to the cause. By stark contrast, Messi chipped in with just the three goals and two assists as Argentina put Bolivia to the sword courtesy of a 6-0 win at the Estadio Monumental, in a game that was actually played 12 metres below sea level, a state of affairs that won’t have suited their visitors at all.

In scoring his 10th hat-trick for Argentina, Messi made it 112 international goals, which means the only person at that level to have scored more than him is that fella last spotted getting his radge on at Portugal being denied the opportunity to take a last-gasp corner at Hampden Park. With Argentina sitting pretty at the top of the South American World Cup standings, Messi was obviously asked if he’d be hanging around to help them to defend their title in 2026. “I didn’t set any date or deadline about my future,” he parped. “I’m just enjoying all this. I am more emotional than ever and taking all the love from the people because I know these can be my last games.”

Following his bravura performance against the mountain goats of Bolivia, the MLS Cup playoffs are next on the agenda for football’s actual GOAT. And with Messi having played a little under half of Inter Miami’s games so far this season as they won the Supporters’ Shield (regular season championship), a weird debate is currently raging in the USA USA USA over whether a four-month absence from his club side before, during and after this summer’s Copa América should render him ineligible when it comes to voting with regards the Landon Donovan Award for tournament MVP. Given that most of his rivals for the title have packed far less into twice as many games, you’d think Messi ought to be a shoo-in but whether he’s that fussed about getting the nod ahead of such global superstars as Federico Bernardeschi, Luciano Acosta or Denis Bouanga … well, nobody can say for sure but he.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I had the option of extending my stay at Liverpool but, after five years, I wanted to get more playing time elsewhere. I had several offers but I decided to sign for Bremen because Germany is a country I already know. I was also convinced by what the coach and management at Bremen had to say. I just wanted to play football, to be out on the pitch, making passes and scoring goals. If I wanted the money, I would have chosen to sign somewhere other than Bremen. Here, all that motivated me was to have the opportunity to play every weekend, enjoy myself and give pleasure. Unfortunately, things haven’t gone according to plan” – Naby Keïta gets his chat on with Ed Aarons, recalling the highs and lows of his Anfield career and clearing the air on discipline controversy at Werder Bremen.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

Re: yesterday’s Football Daily. I am now torn between wanting England to lose all their games so as to dismay those xenophobic fans and editors, or to win them all and reward the admirably composed (and well-qualified) Mr Tuchel. The latter, win-win option would have the extra merit of seeing reverse ferrets all round. And in any case, it is surely now written in the stars that England will win the next World Cup final by beating Germany thanks to a stoppage-time winner awarded by goalline technology” – Trevor Field.

It would have been interesting to see how the rag-tag, ultra-in-disguise that is the English tabloid press had reacted if Jürgen Klopp had gotten the job. As a Canadian national team supporter which previously had an Englishman (John Herdman) and now an American (Jesse Marsch) in charge – each of whom has taken the team to, for us, major successes (return to the World Cup after an absence of 36 years and the unprecedented semi-finals of Copa América 2024), I am happily unfussed by a ‘foreigner’ in charge. And we Canadians don’t judge them on whether they can sing our anthem (in two languages, no less)” – Michael Pearson.

I like Thomas Tuchel primarily because he was involved in that wonderful example of scenes we do not like to see (but really do) with Antonio Conte while manager of Chelsea. But, for the life of me, I can’t look at Herr Tuchel without thinking how much he resembles the effigy in Edvard Munch’s The Scream. And judging by the response to his appointment from the unhinged wing of the English press, I have a feeling Munch’s masterpiece is a premonition of the pressure he’s signed up for” – Colin Reed.

That’s an awful lot of recent Chelsea managers switching to international management. Once is nothing, twice is interesting, three times is a pattern” – Harriet Osborn.

With all this talk of the ‘Stand derby’ between Exeter and Barnet in the FA Cup (yesterday’s Football Daily letters), it appears everyone is forgetting about the team from last season’s fifth round, Maidstone United, who have been drawn at Solihull Moors. When the ‘Elvis End’ (a whole other story) at Maidstone was redeveloped a few years ago, we sold our old stand to Solihull. As such, the mighty Stones’ fanbase will be revisiting it on the first weekend in November to check it has been suitably cared for. May I ask if your oversight in this matter is just another example of the media’s League One bias over the National League?” – Paul Bromley.

Although this is tenuous, I’m reminded of watching Exeter City in the away end at Shrewsbury in a 1990s winter, Tuesday night and probably the Zenith Data Systems Cup or something? What were we thinking? Anyway, suitably refreshed, the 30 or so Exeter fans started singing ‘where’s your coracle?’ to the tune of Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep in tribute to their famous ball collector from the nearby river. After some less than pleased looks from the locals, we were informed at half-time the gentleman had recently passed away. Apologies again to all Shrews fans” – Mike Turney.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Mike Turney. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.